To all ya'll in Texas without tap water
Ah yes medical pun (putting the actual joke in the title would kinda ruin it all ngl)
I purchased a new kitchen sink and the delivery man never told me he left in on my doorstep. Sat there all day
A little know story about Mozart is that in 1785 he killed all of his chickens.
When he asked who the best composer was, they kept replying “Bach, Bach, Bach”
*howls aggressively* "IM GOIN ALL IN BABY"
In scotland we name all our road gritters pun based names
All of my socks have holes in them!
How do you think I get my feet in them?
Well, after all this time, they finally came in! I guess I’m a dad now!
Lately I’ve been storing all my extra change in some bushes outside.
I’m starting my own hedge fund.
I can't tell you all Japanese history in one joke...
In spite of all our disagreements on Reddit, I’m glad about one thing.
Every one reading this is on the same page.
Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.
To the guy in the wheelchair participating in the DC insurrection dressed all in camouflage.
You can hide, but you can’t run!
Where did Noah put all the bee’s in his Ark?
I've decided to invest all my money in soup stocks
I want to be a bouillonaire.
My wife just complained that I've been in the garden all day tending to the herbs.
Apparently I have way too much thyme on my hands.
I went to the zoo the other day. One of the new exhibits was a piece of toast in a cage. I asked the zookeeper "what's that all about?" He said...
I think all World races should end in Europe
I asked all the countries in the world if they wanted to throw a party. All of them told me they can't because of covid.
Only one was like "Yemen"
What causes all the super-yachts to squeeze together in the same tourist spots?
Looks like I have all my ducks in a row
Did y’all know there no canary’s in the Canary Islands? The Virgin Islands are the same!
There aren’t any canary’s there either.
Not to get all political in this sub, but...
Did you guys know that the guy who was recently pepper sprayed by Portland's mayor is a big dairy heir?
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
They should count all the people in this country that make $40k a year or less
My son keeps all his boogers in a journal. He's up to 143.
I told him "One more and it'll be truly gross"
Of all the things I learned while in grade school...
I never thought trying to avoid cooties would be the most useful thing at this stage of my life.
Seven dwarves were all in bed, feeling Happy.
When Happy got out, they all felt Grumpy !!
What’s with all the talk about horny bugs in Washington D.C.?
I keep hearing about the capital insect erection.
I WRITE ALL MY JOKES IN CAPITALS...
THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS.
In the French Court of Louis XIV, going to the bathroom happened all over the place, but loud farting was really stigmatized. So people experiencing gas had to rush to a specifically appointed room called the...
To all of you who have been disowned by fathers. In honor of pride month and on behalf of all dads of R/dadjokes I just wanna say, buffalo.
Because you can always be our bi-son, and even if you don't feel like shooting straight, we will always be trans-parent with you. You are loved.
In our next Dnd campaign, the 4 heroes are all going to be singing wizards.
A regular bard-ershop quartet.
In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.
Because they have immunity.
I know Reddit has servers that all of our jokes are stored in, but I’ve come up with a better solution
Chad asks his friend, "What would happen if all the women in the world disappeared?"
His friend replied, "That would be a pain in the ass."
A thief in a small town stole all the toilets...
Police issued a statement saying they had 'nothing to go on'
I managed to catch all the Pokemon listed under M in the Pokédex
After all my travel in 2020 was cancelled, I'm now facing the COVID reality that my Spring Break trip is not going to happen either. I just told my suitcases this sad fact...
...and now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage
Has anyone seen the new movie that’s playing in all the theaters?
BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 350 aboard
Did you hear about the 80s singer who was utterly unyielding in attitude or opinion in spite of all appeals?
If I ever run a hotel, the free breakfast would be served from 7 tables all pushed together in the middle of the room.
It would be a Pangea breakfast
Every machine in the coin factory broke down all of a sudden without explanation.
It just doesn’t make any cents.
I saw a man at the supermarket today, throw all the milk, butter, cream and yoghurt off the shelves, in a rage.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Typing in all lowercase...
should be capital murder.
I replaced all of the incense in the Friar's room with Marijuana.
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