I said to my sister "did you know there's a computer currently calculating all the digits of pi?" she asked "when did it start?"
I told her "at 3"
This was an actual conversation me and my sister had lol
This isn’t mine and I don’t know who made it, but it’s been on my phone for so many years and I haven’t seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
Beck always said he was a loser. How would you make him into a know-it-all?
Put him in a treehouse. That way, he would be Tree-Beck instead.
I know it's bad but leaf me alone... you're the root of all my problems.
I invested all of my money in cannabis infused beef. I know . . it’s a risky decision.
The steaks are high
Dont know if you've all heard, but there's been an email going around about canned meats. Whatever you do, do NOT open it...
It's Spam.
I know it’s all about timing, but
Is this a bad yolk?
So, I was on the train the other day, and you know how it takes a while to get to the city, well my phone battery was flat and I didn't have a book, so I was a bit bored, but then I realised that there is all this cool graffiti on the tunnel walls... and um... so my phone was dead... and.. the city?
Oh darn it! I lost my train of thought.
What did the ER Nurse say to the belligerent, know-it-all surgeon, who came in with a large laceration?
"Well fine, then. Suture self."
My friend is a know it all who likes to be right always. So he has dollar bills embedded in his shoes.
He has to be on the money.
A better joke may be doable. It's left as an exercise for the reader.
Bruh, now i know why none of my posts have blown up, it's coz i asked to have them all in one piece yesterday.
The President's family has it so easy these days. Did you know the original first family had to spend all of their days cleaning?
They were washingtons.
How can you see a know-it-all is on Reddit?
He sorts the submissions by "knew"
After arriving 1 hour late to picking my wife from work for the third time this week she said “I’ve had it, I’ve lost all of my patients!” And I said “you know what?...
Maybe you should be a better doctor”
My friend Abbey told me that she's "heard them all" from "crabby Abbey" to Abi-one Kenabi. It's her birthday and I know we can do better.
Comment your best "Abbey" puns. Bonus points: her last name rhymes with "long". Or... dong, I guess. So.... long.
It's all about who you know
Talking to my dad about a friend (female) that just recently got a free table
Dad: Well i guess it's all about who you blow...err i mean who you know
