Multiple thefts of porch steps from different addresses in downtown Detroit.

Top Detectives have been assigned to the stair case.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Team_Pineapple
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 03 2021
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Santa addresses his herd

I'm sorry to fawn over you guys, but you're deer to me.'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Vaskaat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 30 2018
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Girlfriend sarcastically addresses me as "Captain".

Me: You're absolutely right. I'm the captain of the ship.

Girlfriend: What ship?

Me: The relationship.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 87
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/themostexcelente
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2015
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Along with gender dysphoria, my doctor wanted to address my poor oral health.

She prescribed me trans-and-dental medication.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/silashoulder
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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My street sign from a previous address:
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OZeski
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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My son asked what our IP address was.

I pointed to the toilet

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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What does a house wear? Address
πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/slayercatz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2020
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The order for this countertop has no address

It just says "For Mica".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hero_of_Thyme81
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
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My 8yr old nephew got his first "grownup" email address....

My sister wanted to make sure he is checking his emails and being responsible....so I send him daily jokes. Not sure if this link works, but if this cool kiddo burrito finds this someday...your emails back are the highlight of my days. http://imgur.com/a/llxi1lO

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tinyfistofjustice
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2020
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What does a house wear ?

Address.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 148
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2021
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It must be tough working in the shipping and receiving department of a zoo.

No one ever addresses the elephant in the room.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 83
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bigtuna_burger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2020
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I just got sent a severed penis in a box with no address

Guess it was an anonymous tip

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PinkGamerGirlx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2020
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My five year old son ’s dad in training comment when asked β€œwhat’s your address?”

Dad, I’m not a girl, I don’t wear dresses!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lordwaters24
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2020
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I've created a toilet locator for those who have trouble finding one

I call it a "G Pee S"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
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I bought my friend an Elephant for her room...

She said "thanks". I said "don't mention it"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/studentadvisor101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2020
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My name is Tyler. Yesterday I got an email addressed to β€œYler”. I pity the fool who makes a mistake like that.

Because he Missed-A-T.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tylerjarvis
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 13 2020
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My house is a smart house because it has a bathroom

Because it has an IP address.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Incognitj0e
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2021
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Why did Lincoln give the Gettysburg Address? /r/Jokes/comments/ghs2js/…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tuhawaiki
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2020
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Ordered a Stud Finder on Amazon and forgot to give them a shipping address.

Still made it to my door.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NoodleMaps
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2020
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Helping the postman get this to the correct address
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SoggyPaste
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2019
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If toilets had an address, what would it be called?

And IPee address.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kajinator
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2020
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Chuck Norris' email address:

Gmail@chucknorris.com

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2019
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What’s big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls on you out of a tree?

A pool table.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 134
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LaneKerman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2020
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A Japanese zoo just celebrated the birth of a baby elephant

Before that nobody addressed the elephant in the womb.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NathanielleS
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the postman get his wife for her birthday?

Address

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
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The address for this whale watching company
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarahjrs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2019
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"We have a few things that need addressing."

Me: Is one of them a salad?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LLenmarh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2019
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I couldn't find Dwayne Johnson in address book

because he was under the rock

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Labidian
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address

Edit: Wow! I never thought my first award would be for a dad joke. Thanks anonymous redditor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/man_nowhere
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 24 2019
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Let's address the elephant in the room.

Hello, elephant.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Where is the best place to go pee?

IP Address

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyNameIsDiet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To talk to the idiot.

knock knock

Who’s there?

The chicken.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fightthemonster1
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Here's something that needs addressing..!

...Blank envelopes πŸ˜€

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ooPROJEKToo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Have it delivered to the Get Cheeseburger address.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My son asked me what our IP address was.

I pointed to the toilet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

β€œAddress”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 596
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HangryModeActivate
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/14to0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a female house wear?

Address.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Secretseacrits549
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the house wear on her date?

Address

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/n0fr13nd5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address

πŸ‘οΈŽ 83
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/harshamfk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/harlienx900
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2020
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My son asked me what our IP address was.

I pointed to the toilet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/konajones
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 108
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/remoonl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report

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