Multiple thefts of porch steps from different addresses in downtown Detroit.

Top Detectives have been assigned to the stair case.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Team_Pineapple
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Santa addresses his herd

I'm sorry to fawn over you guys, but you're deer to me.'

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vaskaat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend sarcastically addresses me as "Captain".

Me: You're absolutely right. I'm the captain of the ship.

Girlfriend: What ship?

Me: The relationship.

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/themostexcelente
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
🚨︎ report
Along with gender dysphoria, my doctor wanted to address my poor oral health.

She prescribed me trans-and-dental medication.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/silashoulder
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My street sign from a previous address:
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OZeski
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked what our IP address was.

I pointed to the toilet

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear? Address
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slayercatz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
The order for this countertop has no address

It just says "For Mica".

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hero_of_Thyme81
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My 8yr old nephew got his first "grownup" email address....

My sister wanted to make sure he is checking his emails and being responsible....so I send him daily jokes. Not sure if this link works, but if this cool kiddo burrito finds this someday...your emails back are the highlight of my days. http://imgur.com/a/llxi1lO

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tinyfistofjustice
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear ?

Address.

πŸ‘︎ 148
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
It must be tough working in the shipping and receiving department of a zoo.

No one ever addresses the elephant in the room.

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigtuna_burger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I just got sent a severed penis in a box with no address

Guess it was an anonymous tip

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PinkGamerGirlx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My five year old son ’s dad in training comment when asked β€œwhat’s your address?”

Dad, I’m not a girl, I don’t wear dresses!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lordwaters24
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I've created a toilet locator for those who have trouble finding one

I call it a "G Pee S"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought my friend an Elephant for her room...

She said "thanks". I said "don't mention it"

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/studentadvisor101
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My name is Tyler. Yesterday I got an email addressed to β€œYler”. I pity the fool who makes a mistake like that.

Because he Missed-A-T.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tylerjarvis
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My house is a smart house because it has a bathroom

Because it has an IP address.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Incognitj0e
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did Lincoln give the Gettysburg Address? /r/Jokes/comments/ghs2js/…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuhawaiki
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Ordered a Stud Finder on Amazon and forgot to give them a shipping address.

Still made it to my door.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoodleMaps
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Helping the postman get this to the correct address
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoggyPaste
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
If toilets had an address, what would it be called?

And IPee address.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kajinator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Chuck Norris' email address:

Gmail@chucknorris.com

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls on you out of a tree?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaneKerman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A Japanese zoo just celebrated the birth of a baby elephant

Before that nobody addressed the elephant in the womb.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NathanielleS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the postman get his wife for her birthday?

Address

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The address for this whale watching company
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarahjrs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
"We have a few things that need addressing."

Me: Is one of them a salad?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LLenmarh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I couldn't find Dwayne Johnson in address book

because he was under the rock

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Labidian
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address

Edit: Wow! I never thought my first award would be for a dad joke. Thanks anonymous redditor.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/man_nowhere
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Let's address the elephant in the room.

Hello, elephant.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Where is the best place to go pee?

IP Address

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MyNameIsDiet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To talk to the idiot.

knock knock

Who’s there?

The chicken.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fightthemonster1
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Here's something that needs addressing..!

...Blank envelopes πŸ˜€

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ooPROJEKToo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Have it delivered to the Get Cheeseburger address.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My son asked me what our IP address was.

I pointed to the toilet.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

β€œAddress”

πŸ‘︎ 596
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/14to0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a female house wear?

Address.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Secretseacrits549
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the house wear on her date?

Address

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/n0fr13nd5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/harshamfk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/harlienx900
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me what our IP address was.

I pointed to the toilet.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/konajones
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a house wear?

Address!

πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/remoonl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report

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