At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no Time.”
After a lecture, a theoretical physicist is asked, "Can you explain what you just said in plain English?"
To which he replied, "It's in the field of possibilities."
I need help following up with this pun, this is a video about a scientist giving a lecture about fire, I can’t think of any more other than pun-ch line
The professor had used the entire blackboard for the lecture
The blackboard is now chalk-full of information
A student is arrested and brought to court for carrying a weapon to his morning lecture
Judge: Why did you bring a taser to your lecture?
Defendent: Well you see sir, I have a hard time getting up in the morning. But I’m not a big fan of soft drinks or coffee, so I thought the next best thing was to give me a good shock.
What excuse did the student use to get away with skipping their zoom lecture?
"My dog ate my computer."
What do talks, lectures and jokes on Reddit all have in common?
They are all free speech!
https://www.battleforthenet.com/
Stop the FCC from removing net neutrality!
Why do my university lecture theatres have all this blank artwork on the walls?
My teacher is giving a lecture on the mechanisms of drilling
So far, I find it very boring
Why was the duck kicked out of his psychology lecture.
He kept calling the professor a quack.
We were having a biology lecture about Pavlov's dog
We laughed and we laughed then the bell rang and we all went to the cafeteria
I forgot to prepare for my lecture today.
That time I beat my dad at his own game. In the middle of a heated lecture about not joining my friends' shenanigans, dad said, "Two wrongs don't make a right."
"Two Wrights do make an airplane."
"I'm proud of you. You're still grounded though."
How do mathematicians lecture their children?
If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times!
What do you call someone who learns to draw from online lectures?
A doctor, who was just newly a dad, decided to give a medical school lecture on the human reproductive system and what he learned throughout his partner's pregnancy. When a student asked what the correct pronunciation of ovaries is, he shrugged and said:
When I was little, we went to an outdoor lecture featuring the original cast of Star Trek. I was especially excited to see Bones. Unfortunately, we were seated toward the side of the amphitheater, where huge oaks had been planted to frame the stage.
As a result, I couldn't see DeForest through the trees
I recently gave a lecture instructing people how to give directions by violently thrusting their arm towards the intended destination.
It was a PowerPoint presentation.
In college, I always fell asleep during my “Intro to Marxism” lectures.
I found it hard to achieve class consciousness.
In lecture this morning my professor...
My professor was talking about Barbara McClintocks work on corn kernel genetics. He stops all the sudden and says "her work really is not all that a-mazeing." He then proceed to look around to see if we laughed, Which almost no one did, cleared his throat and went back to lecturing.
I attended a psychology lecture by a famous professor today.
Listening to an accounting lecture when the professor drops some dad puns...
>Do you know where the smartest and most reasonable people work?
>
At the US mint, because all they do is make cents!
I thought it was over and then two minutes further into the lecture....
>Do you know where else really smart and reasonable people work?
>
At a perfume factory! All they do is make scents!
Now I am just sitting here posting this and trying to think of more puns...
This is what happens when a lecture goes a little too long...
imgur.com/HdoHf
What is the worst animal to deliver a lecture?
One of my classmates dadjoked a whole lecture hall today
We are in medical pharmacology right now and are starting a series of lectures on chemotherapies. My professor begins the lecture by saying "Who's ready to learn about cancer drugs?!"
This guy gets on the mic, and says, "I'm more of a Libra drug kind of guy."
What so you call it when a boring chemistry teacher starts a lecture?
In my Neuroanatomy lecture today. Professor: "Are you familiar with the nucleus ambiguus?"
My loud response: "It's ambiguous!"
crickets
Teacher mentioned specialist who would massage one's aura in a lecture on holistic medicine...
..."I could really go for an aural massage right now" I said.
I didn't realize I'd spoken aloud until I felt everyone silently staring at me.
Chem professor dropped this on our lecture...
See how the basic unit is a photon? It has the same '-on' ending as other basic units - like electron, neutron, proton. Now what's the basic unit of sociology?
...
...
...
A pers-on.
My professor brought up costumes at lecture.
Prof - "Its good that ya'll got so excited for Halloween, but this row (indicates with hand) needs to take off the masks because its too scary for me to teach!"
No one was wearing a mask.
The prof is a grandpa so his dad jokes are squared.
Engineering Professor (who has kids) got our entire lecture
Prof: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?"
"Its where you get steel wool!"
Lecture students: groans/laughs
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No Time.”
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What exactly happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
When the physics lecture ended, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
After the lecture was over, I asked my physics professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
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