Wanted Puns

And he responded “oh so there’s reddiquette to it then”

(Also he’s on Reddit now so if he sees this then hi dad)

I told them we only accept cash.

And after years of hard work, practice and dedication, I can now play the guitar really badly.

She just grunted. I think she regrets letting me name the twins.

It was closed for training porpoises.

but our parents didn't letter.

Police are working tirelessly to catch him.

Edit: spelling

But he hesitated

But I never got the chants.

I replied: I know I am pretty good, but I don’t think I’m ready to compete just yet

I answered “either/oar.”

I told him it was a dying business.

Le meow!

I said, “No, only for the next couple of hours.”

I was confused why she wanted a hat made of forks

Simple, I said, the prodigal son returns...

I said, "Imagine you're a cat!"

It's not like he can talk back to me.

Use a Luigi board.

so I said, ‘Alright, fatty.

But I've never had the balls to do it.

I told her no. I didn't want her clothes to get wet.

Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

Solid, liquid and gas

It wanted to go into macadamia.

Then it Dawned on me.

I suggested Yoplait.

To sum it up, there’s a small medium at large.

But I couldn't make it Rime

but it remained a book with seven seals to me.

I just haven’t reddit yet

I said I don’t care what star sign it is

She's quite a specific bank robber.

... but ten years in, his career lies in ruins.

But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.

so I opened the fridge

Now he's a full rack developer.

"I've got my ion you"

I said, “Not really. I like him the way he is.”

Think I could do it syruptitiously?

A real iSoar.

I said I wanted to take more programming classes because I really liked the one I took last year.

My offspring tells me they can't take any computer classes.

Confused, I asked why.

"Because I'm non-binary"

True story, happened last night. I have never been so proud.

He too always wanted to be the US President

Police are working tirelessly to catch him.

I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

Too bad my parents didn’t letter

I never got the chants.