A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
I won a contest extracting the most water from a towel, I'm now known as the....
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
Did you hear about the guy shooting paper towel rolls in the wild?
At the beach, opposite the life guard, a man sleeps on a towel, adjacent an unopened umbrella.
When he wakes up, he's going to be a tan gent.
With the increasing cases of Covid in America, I was worried there would be a shortage of paper towels.
But I found the grocery story to be Bounty full.
Had a race to see who could hang out our towels on the washing line quickest.
I went to 3 different stores trying to find some paper towels....
I guess you could call me a Bounty hunter.
I tried to tell a joke about towels...
But people don’t like my dry humor.
Two Ninjas are in a cage match to the death. Which team throws in the towel first?
If towels could tell jokes...
They would have a dry sense of humor
My Fiancée was at the store earlier and she texted me saying, “Should I buy new beach towels?”
The towels are so scratchy, the cats love them...
I thought only dogs knew "rough"
Next time your wife is angry, give her a towel as cape.
Then say : now you are super angry!
She might laugh.. you might die.
Why are American towels communist?
They’re kept in the Lenin closet.
Anyone out shopping looking for paper towels can officially call themselves...
What’s the Mandalorian’s favourite paper towel?
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.
When places ran out of toilet paper people started buying paper towel instead
Why Don't Gymnasts Use Towels?
Her: Hey, can you pick up my towel?
Me: Hey there towel, looking good. What are you doing later?
A nun might put a towel on her head from time to time.
But she wouldn't make a habit of it.
I think my towel has a crush on me because whenever I rub it on me it gets wet
I started getting death threats after wearing paper towels for a hat...
Apparently there's a Bounty on my head
I told my kids a joke about our bovine print kitchen towel.
They said it was terry bull.
A convict escapes from prison wearing paper towel shorts.
He’s now got a bounty on his head and his ass.
If a mortician and a snake get married, what will their towels say?
Paper towels and toilet paper are terrible if they’re not tearable.
Pretty sure this post is terrible too, but I just couldn’t help myself today.
I saw a baker putting a tea towel over a large bowl full of dough.
What’s he trying to prove?
A lot of people can't figure out the right way to dry their towels.
It's just something they tend to get hung up on.
My wife recently insisted that I get over my obsession with blankets and towels...
... she said I'm just way too wrapped up in them!
Made a kitchen towel for my parents for Christmas
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
My wife made me wait a good long time with my friends at the pool before I realized she wasn’t coming with my towel...
You could say she left me hanging out to dry.
My 3yo Daughter came up to me saying her dolly was cold so I tore her off a piece of paper towel. She then said daddy this is a napkin.
I assure her it was quilted
Why did the pirate wear a paper towel for a hat?
He had a bounty on his head.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, "What's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Arrr! I've got a Bounty on me head!"
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel for a hat. The bartender asks, "What's with the paper towel?"
The pirate replies, "Arr, I got a Bounty on me head!"
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.
The bartender says; "hey, what's with the paper towel?" And the pirate says, "Arrr, I've got a bounty on me head!"
I won a contest for draining the most water out of a towel...
I'm now known as the Lord of the Wrings.
My paper towels went missing
So I had to hire a Bounty hunter.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head
The bartender asks him why it's there, to which the pirate replies, "Arrr, there be a bounty on me head!"
Why don’t gymnasts use towels?
My wife got angry at me, so I draped a towel down her back
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.
A pirate walks into a bar wearing a turban made out of paper towels.
Bartender: What the hell?
Pirate: Arrr, there is a Bounty on me head.
All the paper towels went missing from my house.
Fortunately my dog is a Bounty hunter.
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