They said it was terry bull.
My mom and I were in our living room watching TV. My dad was in the kitchen by himself. Suddenly we hear a yell from the kitchen and go running in to see my dad with a bloody paper towel around his finger...
Me: What happened!?
Dad: I cut my finger!
Mom: How!?
Dad: I wanted some cheese and crackers so I reached into the cheese drawer and I cut my hand.
Me: How did the cheese drawer cut your hand?
Dad: It didn't. I sliced it on the block of extra sharp cheddar!
Dad bursts out laughing
He then removed the paper towel to reveal his unharmed finger. He had dyed the paper towel with food coloring.
I was in the kitchen eating cereal and my dad comes in just wearing a towel and he goes "Hiiyyaahhh!" While raising his one leg and says, "How do you like those nuts?" I'm still traumatised
We were out of paper towels in the kitchen and we keep the extra rolls in our linen closet. He was walking by so I asked him to grab a new roll. As he walked into the kitchen he announced that the paper towels were out of the closet and he supported their right to marry.
My girlfriend and I were arguing this morning.
The kind of argument where only one of us is upset and the other thinks its hilarious.
To taunt me, she asked "How mad are you"?
I tried being tough when I replied "soooo mad right now".
With a grin she asks "like super mad"?
Not seeing the trap before me I respond "Yes, I am super mad"!
This backfired horribly as she proceeded to take the towel on her head and tie it around her neck as a cape. Then she ran circles in the kitchen with her arms extended, pretending to fly yelling "You're a bird! You're a plane! Youuuuuuuu're SUPER MAAAD!"
Pretty sure she forgot I was even there.
She wins this round.
In the kitchen today
Bro: "Just went looking for paper towel"
Me: "Uhmmm ok"
Bro: Pulls Bounty brand paper towels from behind his back with a stupid grin "Guess that makes me a Bounty hunter"
