True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling “I stepped on a Bee!”
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
what did the cell say when it’s sister stepped on it’s foot
I heard that a gang based in Los Angeles is creating paper money with pictures of the founder's foot's digits in place of presidents...
I dunno if the Crip-toe currency will take off or not.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
Did you know athlete’s foot is only in the US?
The rest of the world calls it athlete’s meter
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My dad asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
Did you know Shakespeare had a brother who was a foot soldier in the military?
He would get so nervous before battle that he couldn't keep his hands from shaking. The say he wielded quite the shaky-spear.
If the arch of your foot keeps hurting and there's nothing you can do about it...
Does that make it your... arch nemesis?
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
My friend lost the front part of his foot. Now I don’t like him anymore.
I’m lack-toes intolerant.
What’s the best way to transport a giant foot?
Going to the foot doctor tomorrow.
Don't often think about my feet. They are usually the furthest thing from my mind.
What was everyone saying about the photographer who got the prosthetic foot?
They got some new faux-toes
Why did the foot stink at telling jokes?
I'm 6 foot 6 inches (~196cm) and I recently found the cause for my back problems.
Almost everyone looks up to me. Being a role model to that many people is a lot of weight for one to carry on their shoulders.
Earlier, I was driving behind an ambulance when a cooler fell off the back. I stopped and opened it up to find a foot inside..
So I decided to call a toe-truck.
Why was the Monarch only one foot tall?
I woke up at midnight to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor staring at me from the foot of my bed...
First I was afraid, I was petrified.
It's the opposite day and my friend challenges me in tic tac toe. when it's his turn, he grabs the pencil by his foot. I ask him why and he responds:
"I'm playing the toe tactic"
I think the front of my foot has gone dead-asleep.
Now they are a bunch of coma-toes.
My wife went to get a pedicure with her mother. She sent me a text saying that they have an exfoliating, foot scrub that has CBD/Hemp oil in it and she was going to try it out...I replied “baby, do you realize that you left the house with slippers on...
But you are coming back with high heels”. Her mom sent me a text asking me what I said that made my wife throw her phone in to her lap and groan aloud. Mission accomplished haha
What's the hardest foot to buy a shoe for?
What do you get if you plug your foot into the mains
I learnt about the symptoms of sever athletes foot
My friend was changing a tire when he dropped the car on his foot.
Americans don't like the metric system because most of them have a foot fetish.
What did the foot exclaim when it met its long lost relative?
I was only a foot over the line
WHAT WAS THE FOOT'S FAVOURITE TYPE OF CHIPS?
Did you hear about the man without legs who lives at the foot of Mount Everest?
When people meet him, they just find Himalayan there
I went to the doctor because the back of my foot hurt.
He said it could be months until it heels.
I’m debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
I just learned that now we have to social-distance at the beach and mark a 6-foot perimeter!
Well, I'm drawing a line in the sand.
I hurt my foot driving my car the other day
I had to call a toe company.
I dropped an anvil on the end of my foot...
Now I have to call a toe truck.
Army soldiers can't comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement.
But everyone in the Navy can fathom it.
There’s a guy in a European airport, and he sees a man carrying a ten foot metal pole. He asks the guy, “Are you a pole vaulter?”
The man says, “Actually, I’m German, but how did you know my name is Walter?”
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My son asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
What did the cell say when it’s sister stepped on it’s foot
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
Why is the king only one foot tall?
What did the cell say to the other cell who stepped on its foot?
What did the biologist say when his sister stepped on his foot?
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