Thanksgiving dinner Puns

The tur-KEY.

Also, the key to a fun visit to the zoo is the mon-key.

And the key to a great science fiction movies is a Woo-key.

To ensure the maximum amount of eye-rolls, casually drop these into the conversation several minutes apart.

It can get re-heated the next day as well

You know..Turkey.. stuffing... Cranberries..and Masked Potatoes.

I pulled out all the Pops!

It was fowl.

I said, “Yes, I yam”

Fowl play was suspected

I said, “It’s for tomorrow.”

Her: Huh?

Me: Tomorrow is Black Fry day.

My mother asked me to pass the cranberries. I picked up the dish and extended it to her but she didn’t reach for it. I was like, “Are you gonna take the cranberries or are you just gonna let it linger?”

Took a second but I got a few good laughs.

I’m not even a Dad... yet

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop Dogg? ..

..

..

Dr. Dre

My daughter (13) hates listening to my Dad jokes all the time (down deep she really loves them)

So tonight at dinner I said, wow I'm so stuffed and she says, oh probably from all the stuffing eh!? She then says, oh god I'm turning into you! ☺️

Right towards the end of dinner, I was feeling pretty full. So I said, “call me a turkey, cause I’m stuffed”

Everyone groaned, including my dad, except Dad kinda chuckled and groaned at the same time. I thought it was hilarious.

Thanksgiving dinner: Doing it Yang-Ham Style!

Aunt: Don't do drugs, the dealers put stuff in them. They'll lace anything. Uncle: Well, I guess I'm gunna need new shoes.

I pipe up with "Please, you guys, stop. If you keep this up, I'm going to die of Tuber-culosis."

The entire table emitted a collective groan at me, and one of my cousins just shook his head at me. No one made a potato pun again that night.

I guess that's why they call fall 'leaf' season.

It fell on deaf ears

She asked why I was microwaving the sweet potatoes instead of putting them in the oven and I told her that the turkey was in there, and I still needed to use the oven for the dressing, the veggies, and then the pie.

"Wow, there's a long waiting list for the oven!" she exclaimed.

I replied, "Yep, guess you could say it's the hot place to be tonight."

Mom: Hey I am putting the gravy back in the jar if anyone is looking for it.

Me: Did you seal it tightly so it doesn't drip?

Mom: Yeah it should be good.

Me: Good I wouldn't want it to be ajar.

So, Grandpa, you can't fly for a bit then? (He had eye surgery, can't fly due to changing pressure or something)

"Yeah, but mostly because I don't have wings"

No one else found it as funny as I did unfortunately

My mom made a delicious chocolate mousse pie for dessert. When my wife noted how delicious it was, my dad said, "Yeah, and she had to work hard to make it too. Those Chocolate Moose are hard to find!" Cue collective groan.

Just after taking our seats, as we're passing around the food, my dad would ask his dad "Want a roll?"

Grandpa's reply: "No, thank you. I just sat down!"

Every year :)

Talking about a cousin-in-laws new boyfriend

> He's getting a Ph.D. in Statistics, so he's pretty smart

Me: Would you say that he is significantly smart?

Someone wanted the stuffing:

> Did you know that when it isn't in the turkey it isn't called stuffing, but it's actually called dressing??

Me: Just don't put it on your salad

The parent's and my wife groaned but the little kids thought it was funny.

My cousin asked my uncle where he was going to sit. I replied with "in a chair."

Guys, I'm only 18. I don't know if I'm ready for this.

My dad yells "ROLL CALL!"

We're all sitting around eating thanksgiving dinner when my dad stops and exclaims, "Yam this is good!" We all had a good chuckle.

After Thanksgiving dinner at Walmart looking for plunger

Dad: Where can we get a plunger?

Walmart Employee: Right this way!

Dad: Thank you! We had a big Thanksgiving meal.

Me: shakes head

had a bit of a choking scare when she tried to stuff a whole crescent roll in her mouth.
After she regained her composure, I advised her to slow her roll. Groans abound.

At Thanksgiving dinner with some family friends and my dad (a dentist) and his dental partner (my godfather) are talking about movies.

Godfather: Have you guys seen Gravity yet?

Dad: No, I heard it's heavy.

cue laughter

Mutters to himself under his breath.. "And I'll take some dark meat because I'm not racist."

So my family and I are eating our usual thanksgiving dinner, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, you name it. My sister really likes sweet drinks, so she would serve her self a glass of grape juice almost right after her previous ones. After a couple of refills, my dad says "Do you want some dinner with your juice?" He says this for every damn thing. I like syrup on my waffles like the next guy but pour a little much and he says "Want some waffles with your syrup?" Every. Damn. Time.