Why did the city support the music hall being repurposed as a shopping mall?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
I've been trying to come up with a clever name for an amputee support group.
π︎ 245
π
︎ Jul 09 2020
I support free speech
Nobody should have to pay to talk.
π︎ 42
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
Show support for his hard work
π︎ 44
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
"We're here to offer support, not to grill you," they said at my review meeting.
"Like a bra, not a braai"
-
Based on true events. I had to stop myself from blurting that out.
-
Thanks to u/rumbustiousben for reminding me that not everyone knows what a braai is - it's a barbecue in Afrikaans and commonly used as part of English by South Africans
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
Support your farmers
π︎ 45
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
I asked my boss if he would donate to my organization that provides medical support to Asian children with terminal diseases so they donβt have to be put down.
He hasnβt responded yet, but when he does Iβll find out if he supports youth in Asia.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
Do you know thereβs a support group for obsessive talkers?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 14 2020
Why would Karl Marx support closing schools because of COVID-19?
We'd finally live in a classless society.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
How will he support his 3mm family?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
Why are the members of the Titanic survivorsβ support group so close?
Everyone was in same boat.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
My horse never supports anything I want to do.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
What animal do French women wear to give them support?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
If you're having trouble connecting your bluetooth device, just dress in green, sit on a perch and repeat everything that tech support tells you.
It's the only way to parrot.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
I went to my premature ejaculation support group today...
π︎ 17
π
︎ May 06 2020
Why did the blind German mistakenly support Hitler?
He thought he was a fellow member of the Not See Party.
π︎ 45
π
︎ May 21 2020
Has anyone asked IT for support?
They deal with viruses all the time!
π︎ 27
π
︎ Mar 20 2020
The true support that Windows needed...
π︎ 184
π
︎ Dec 30 2019
What did I say when my son tried to unplug my life support to plug in the vacuum cleaner?
Don't do that I'll dyson!
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 21 2020
Dad, which state supports baking as a family activity?
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 10 2020
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
π︎ 87
π
︎ Feb 26 2020
My daughter was getting older and needed a new support group...
So my wife helped her be fitted for some very nice bras.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
I absolutely support any scientific effort to create an invisibility cloak.
I just want to make myself clear.
π︎ 63
π
︎ Dec 06 2019
Tesla just started production of medical gear to support hospital workers...
The Elon Mask is their first product.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
I was having trouble with my computer, so I contacted IT support. The man said, 'Have you tried disabling cookies?'
I said, 'Well, I once bit the legs off a gingerbread man.'
π︎ 46
π
︎ Dec 26 2019
Why did the Magic 8-ball call tech support?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 15 2020
I used to upholster furniture for a living and hated it. My boss switched me to packing for a while then switched me back. I hate it so bad I have to go to a support group. Talking helps me to do the damned job.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 28 2020
Why did the electrician support LGBTQ people a lot?
Because he had a lot of trans sisters
π︎ 109
π
︎ Oct 19 2019
A spider called a tech support office
He needed help connecting to the web
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 09 2020
Tech support
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 01 2019
At last I found some concrete IT support
https://i.imgur.com/xKsNWyA.png
π︎ 92
π
︎ Oct 07 2019
Mac now supports Windows
π︎ 64
π
︎ Jul 28 2019
Halloween Support Group
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Oct 18 2018
My girlfriend just said to me that she supports Communism...
Sorry but to me that is just a major red flag!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 26 2019
My wife doesn't talk too much, but she LOVES to chat, so I'm joining a support group for compulsive talkers:
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 13 2019
I am unable to support the "fat-acceptance" movement
Because they're too heavy
π︎ 23
π
︎ Sep 09 2019
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jul 12 2018
My friend wanted to go cliff diving but he had to take his emotional support device for unclogging using suction...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 27 2019
What does a female snake use for support?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
My friend used to work PC support, but is now in construction...
He's really great at installing Windows!
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 17 2019
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission
When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
Mac now supports windows
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jul 05 2019
Who did the pharaoh go to when he needed support?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
While i support the cause, the puns got me
π︎ 31
π
︎ Feb 24 2019
Iβm starting a support group for people whose punβs arenβt appreciated.
Itβll be called eh? eh?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 19 2019
Taken off laugh support due to coffin fits
π︎ 4k
π
︎ May 08 2017
I absolutely support any scientist who is trying to create a complete invisibility cloak.
I just want to make myself clear.
π︎ 58
π
︎ Mar 02 2019
I went to a premature ejaculator's support group today.
π︎ 158
π
︎ Oct 23 2018
Welcome to the plastic surgery addiction support group
I see a lot of new faces in the room
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jul 23 2019
Mac supports windows
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 19 2019
What do you call Post Malone after he joins a support group?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 13 2019
Midwife, handing over the newborn baby: Make sure you support his head.
Dad: Sure. What a great head you got there. Well done!
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jun 20 2019
Why did the potato pay child support?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 28 2019
What thing does tech support and carpenters have in common?
They both work with routers on a regular basis.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 09 2019
Thereβs cuties in tech support
π︎ 21
π
︎ Feb 22 2019
I hate it when tech support comes to my house...
I'm always missing cookies when they leave
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 18 2019
Iβm working for a charity that provides support for elderly grapes
My job is in raisin awareness.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 09 2019
After losing the job, I sold all of my furniture to support the family.
I still couldn't put food on the table.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Dec 31 2018
Tech Support: Another guy's phone fell and broke...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 02 2019
Judge: I've decided to give your ex $3,000 in child support.
Me: Thank you, your honor. I'll also try to give her something myself.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 17 2019
Support farming
π︎ 39
π
︎ Jun 26 2018
It was very difficult to switch off my mother-in-lawβs life support system.
I had to fight my wife and two doctors to do it.
π︎ 51
π
︎ Dec 11 2018
The only religion I support
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 23 2019
I told my wife she could have my child support. She replied
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 28 2019
Iβm part of a lumbar support group
Even in the hardest times, they always have my back.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 25 2018
Howβd the Mermaid Math Teacher support herself?
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 11 2019
I was the solo support act for minor local rock group, 'Nothing'. My set went terribly. I was out of tune, really nervous, the equipment was failing too. The crowd began to boo and leave in droves.
I said, "you ain't seen Nothing yet!"
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 02 2019
You know what supports women left and right?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 14 2019
Future wife wears support socks.
Future wife was getting ready for work and put on these socks that I hadn't seen before. I asked what they were and she said they were supportive socks... I immediately grabbed one out of her drawer and put it on my hand like a sock puppet and spoke with a high-pitched muppet voice.
Puppet: You look nice today.
Puppet: You're going to have a great day.
Puppet: You can do it!
Her: What are you doing?
Puppet: Being supportive.
Me: <laughs>
Her: Oh my God.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jun 27 2014
I have unidirectional phobia, but after many years of therapy and support groups.
I finally took a step in the right direction.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 15 2019
My wife wanted me to be there for her operation to provide "moral support"
I told her she should probably talk to a priest instead.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 22 2019
I built a support to prop up my planner that helps keep track of the news reports about the robbery of 3-foot measuring devices from a boat repair place in West Michigan...
It's my Georgetown Township Shipyard Yardstick Stickup Update Datebook Bookend.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 03 2018
Every year, I re-assess how much I support states' rights
It's my annual pro-state exam
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jan 16 2019
Did you hear about the IKEA support group?
They help you pick up the pieces, but you have to put yourself together again at home.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 20 2019
Hello! I thought that maybe some of you lovely punny people might want to support my enamel pin kickstarter as they feature these pun-tastic grumpy woodland animals π Iβll put the link in the comments
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jan 26 2018
Can we start a support group for procrastinators?
π︎ 46
π
︎ Sep 01 2018
In my life I've been a maintenance mechanic, a make-up artist, a media director, a mender, a metre inspector, a microcomputer support specialist, a mill helper, a mirror installer, a music librarian and a mortician investigator.
That's my Mployment record.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 17 2019
I was trying to take my emotional support penguin on an aeroplane, but I was stopped by security.
They said, βSorry. Penguins canβt fly.β
π︎ 25
π
︎ Dec 05 2018
I strongly support people, places, and things.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 22 2018
Babies gotta support the household too!!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 09 2018
The KKK supports a ban on triathlons
it seems that they have a real ideological problem with mixing races
π︎ 27
π
︎ Sep 05 2018
I started a support group for dyslexia.
Itβs called Dyslexics Untied.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 07 2018
Telling someone that you work in IT support can be such a turn off...
And then a turn on again.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 11 2018
Whatβs the best thing about emotional support dogs?
Theyβre always kind enough to ask you if youβre having a ruff day
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 06 2018
I work in tech support and this lady told me her computer was frozen.
I asked her to please thaw it out.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 03 2018
What's it called when plants pay child support?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 12 2018
What did the clueless tech support guy say when I told him my monitor isn't working anymore
Let's see how displays out
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 23 2018
Most places can't support floating markets, but this Vietnamese city
π︎ 25
π
︎ Nov 16 2017
Support groups
Procrastinator's Anonymous will be canceled because all the members have put off coming to at least next week. (Credit unknown)
Jane finally decided to join Narcotics Anonymous after getting needled into coming. (Original)
I bet you 50:1 odds that Joe won't be here at Gamblers Anonymous tonight. (Original)
As Laura spoke at AA, I found her account intoxicating. (Original)
Even if I were transgender, I doubt I'd ever go to a Crossdressers Anonymous meeting. I hear those meetings are literally a drag. (Original)
At a computer users' group, a guy was complaining that his Linux-loving girlfriend refused to do Windows. (Original)
I plum need to attend a Purple Anonymous meeting. (Original)
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 22 2018
Did you hear about the guy who got the entire left half of his body ripped off in a horrible accident at his factory job that he had to support his family, and now he might die, or even worse, become a brain dead vegetable that is only an economic burden on his already poor family?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 26 2018
I cannot emphasize enough how much I support scientists working towards creating an invisibility cloak.
I just want to make myself clear.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 17 2018
I asked my boss to donate to support Asian children with terminal illnesses.
He hasnβt responded yet, but when he does Iβll find out if he supports youth in Asia.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
What does a female snake use for support?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
Why did the Magic 8-Ball call tech support?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 01 2019
What Does A Female Snake Use For Support
π︎ 28
π
︎ Feb 18 2019
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