What do you call a duck that steals?
A man fell into a combine harvester while attempting to steal it.
Police say he will be bailed out tomorrow.
What kind of alert do the police put out when someone steals your fire?
A football player steals houses...
He took all of Patrick's Mahomes.
My buddy Linux would always lead the lineup with a bunt and steal second shortly after. And no matter how bad I wanted to swing for the fences, if the batter before me didn't make first; coach would turn to me and say......
Fancy stores are now adding bleach packets to their clothing that explodes if you try to steal them
Police say it’s a great a crime detergent
What do you call people that steal dad jokes and repost them?
People ask me where I steal all my dad jokes from
They get surprise to know that I have a dad-a-base
Me: Did you steal my thesaurus?
For this price? What a steal.
I am convinced that my friend helped someone steal one of my gloves.
He definitely had a hand in it.
The sexual tension is so intense it could cut through steal.
I have a problem. My wife steals animals from the zoo and hides them in our house.
I tried to bring it up but she didn't want to discuss the elephant in the room.
What did the hardware store employee use to steal personal information?
I surprised my friend as she was trying to steal another spine from a corpse...
She was takin' a back when taken aback!
The only thing a kleptomaniac cannot steal is a pun
They take everything literally.
My Brother used to Steal from Kitchen Supply Stores..
He was always the whisk-taker in the family.
How did a musician steal from a bank without being noticed?
My family tell me not to steal kitchen utensils
But it's a whisk I'm willing to take
Hey! Don't you dare steal...
a friend of mine dared me to steal some kitchen supplies
but that just wasn't a whisk I was willing to take
If you’re ever trying to do something unexpected, don’t steal someone’s abacus. They’ll be counting on that.
What do you call a mom who steals all the dad jokes?
Transparent...
I bet you didn't see that coming 😁
A boy leaned over to steal a kiss from his girl, but she was leaning over to steal a kiss at the same time.
They both made out like bandits.
What do you call when a chef steals a recipe for ravioli?
The goal of every burglar is a stainless steal.
Did you see that lady who steals sandwiches?
She is absolutely breadtaking!
I can't believe somebody had the nerve to break into my house and steal my limbo stick.
I mean seriously, how low can you go?
What do you call a person who steals e-cigarettes?
What happens to a baker if they steal another's cream pie recipe?
They get taken into custard-y.
How could you steal his van though? 😂
I never thought my son would steal road signals
But when I got home all the signs were there
I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work,
But it was a whisk I was willing to take.
Why couldn't the criminal steal the money alone?
He was banking on his friends to do it
I tried to steal a window but the guilt was overwhelming.
I could not take the pane.
Why did the crazy guy steal a train?
He just had a loco motive.
Me: Did you steal my thesaurus?
my wife warned me not to steal kitchen utensils..
but it’s a whisk in willing to take
My wife tells me I should never steal kitchen utensils...
...but it's a whisk that I'm willing to take
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