I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker
But when I got home all the signs were there
Son: "Dad, did you see pictures of that guy at the Capitol stealing Nancy Pelosi's podium? That's domestic terrorism!"
Dad: "Wrong, son. He was just taking a political stand."
A man has been stealing wheels off police cars
The police are working tirelessly to catch him
Officer: You’re under arrest for stealing the Wikipedia servers...
Me: But officer, I can explain everything!
Did you see the video of the rioter stealing Pelosi’s podium?
The guy was really taking a stand!!
I used to have an addiction stealing road signs
But then I kept on getting signs telling me to stop
I got arrested for stealing a calendar
Two guys were arrested for stealing a single calendar
They both got six months.
My friend accused me of stealing his thesaurus.
Not only was I shocked, I was appalled, distraught, surprised, and taken aback.
Did you hear about the guy who was stealing people's window panes?
Apparently it was panes taking work.
A man was caught stealing at a supermarket today while standing on the shoulders of a couple of vampires
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts
What do you call a person who can't stop stealing kitchen supplies?
I get a thrill out of stealing kitchen utensils
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
I was arrested earlier for stealing helium balloons.
The cops held me for a while, then let go .
I once caught a criminal in the midst of stealing some luggage.
My wife told me to stop stealing her kitchen utensils or else.
But that's a whisk I'm willing to take.
The police found the man who was stealing the soap.
They were close to catching him so he had to come clean.
I saw a man on my street today stealing a gate
I didn't say anything in case he took a fence.
I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary
I said, “Mark, my words!”
What do you call the dinosaurs that arrest other dinosaurs for stealing?
My brother was caught stealing fruit last night...
Didn't know I was related to a waterfelon.
Doctor Doctor, I can't stop stealing chairs ...
Police report says someone was stealing rockwool from a construction site downtown.
Turns out it was an isolated incident.
My wife is always threatening to harm me if I keep stealing her kitchen utensils...
but that’s a wisk I’m willing to take.
There is a guy stealing Iphones around town
He is probably going to face time
[OC] What did the farmer say when he got a headache from people stealing his wheat
I tried to believe my son when he said he was not stealing arcs from his geometry class...
But upon checking his backpack, all the sines were there.
I got caught stealing kitchen utensils
Apparently someone in my town has been stealing the wheels off police cars
They’ve been working tirelessly to find him
What did the police do when they caught the thief stealing the desserts from the bakery?
They took him into custardy
I was arrested the other day for stealing people's electrons.
I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
People ask me where I am stealing all my dadjokes from
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing stuff from his highway maintenance job.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
A man has been stealing wheels of police cars.
The police is working tirelessly to catch him.
A man has been stealing police car tires
The police are working tirelessly to catch him
i heard my dad was stealing from his roadworks job
i didnt believe it at first but when i got home all the signs were there
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Did you hear about the guys that were caught stealing a calendar?
A man was caught stealing from a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires;
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
I was convicted for stealing a calendar.
I never wanted to believe that my brother was stealing from his job as a road worker
but when I got home, all the signs were there
A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars
Police are working tirelessly to catch him
Man seen stealing police car wheels.
The police are working tirelessly to catch him.
BREAKING: A man has been stealing wheels of police cars.
The police have been working tirelessly to catch him.
BREAKING NEWS: A man has been spotted stealing tires from police cars
The authorities are working tirelessly to catch him!
My brother was caught stealing fruit last night...
I've never known a waterfelon before.
I was really mad at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary.
I said, “Mark, my words!”
Roommate: If you keep stealing all my kitchen utensils than I'm moving out!
Me: That's a whisk I'm willing to take.
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