BREAKING NEWS: Scientists launch sneak attack on the periodic table.....
Add the element of surprise.
What’s it called when I sneak my favorite soda into a long, boring musical?
Why is leather armor the best armor to sneak around in?
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
Realized my boys will someday be dads after the cat tried to sneak outside tonight
Me, to my two boys: "Hazel tried to escape, but I captured her."
Boy 1: (pronunciation) "cap- CHURR!"
Boy 2: "Or... You CAT-tured her!"
My friend Jack Glasscock could never sneak up on people.
Everyone could always see when he was coming.
I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor.
The security guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.
Sneak preview of new atar wars plot
an army of clones of the most hated celebrities attack hollywood.
Remaking due to spelling error.
People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema.
Well...
I’ve got a few twix up my sleeve.
TIL about a sneak attack in WWII, in which Norway’s Skiing Soldiers deprived the German army of the atomic bomb.
There was this kinky burglar who would sneak into people's bedrooms to give them a pedicure as they slept. .
What do you call it when a guy tries to sneak peeks at a girl's cleavage?
Cleavesdropping.
Shoutout to my wife for dropping this one on me.
Edit: About 6 people have responded with "peek a boob" already. I applaud the effort, but to me that would be better nickname for nip slips.
My friend and I were trying to sneak by a dinosaur last night.
When we got to the other side, Dave said:
Do you think he saurus
What do you call bad breath that sneaks up on you?
A cow tried to sneak past a sleeping dragon
My son convinced my sisters to sneak into Canada and start a garden.
It's his Alien Aunt Farm.
Two fruits wanted to sneak away from their parents and get married in the forest
But sadly one of them Cantaloupe
How do you sneak up on a unique rabbit?
TIP FOR TODAY: Don't try to sneak popcorn in the movie theater.
They'll never let you use their microwave.
What plant sneaks up on you?
I trained my 5 kids (5 & under) to say "dadjokes" everytime I sneak one in [video link]
Here's a montage 😅 https://youtu.be/z6woHmrn144
My daughter decided to sneak a stray cat back home
But I found out and she had to let the cat out of the bag
A Canadian lies about a gym membership to sneak in a workout. How does he feel the next morning?
Sneak thieves steal constabulary toilets.
Police have nothing to go on...
I like to sneak up behind women and give them massages
The ladies love it - they call me a massage-inist
-RIP Papa Franku
How the Ewoks manage to sneak up on Han Solo, Chewbacca and Luke Skywalker?
They used their Endor voices.
A bird with cancer sneaks over the Mexican Border
He's an ill-eagle immigrant.
This morning at breakfast, my daughter said she doesn't really like syrup on her pancakes, but sometimes she'll "sneak a little on there"
So I said, "well, aren't you syrup-titious!"
My wife asked me how I managed to sneak candy into the movie theater
I told her I had a few twix up my sleeve.
Why can't you sneak up on someone in a corn field?
Trying to sneak around unnoticed?
Wear an all-leather outfit... It's made of 100% hide.
If someone sneaks across a steal framed bridge...
...are they a truss-passer?
Why did the lion sneak into the wardrobe?
I try to sneak one in every once in a while.
While working the graveyard shift my coworkers and I agreed to take a break and regroup at 12:15am. As we were leaving I said "ok see you guys tomorrow". I gave myself a good chuckle!
Managed to sneak in a good one at the hairdressers today!
So as the hairdresser was walking past a school boy he caught his foot on the guys rucksack and nearly tripped.
I murmured "That was a close shave."
The school boy looked at me, looked away and started to shake his head, while me and the hairdresser are grinning away...
Why do you sneak around in leather armor?
Because it is made of hide.
Earlier, I tried to sneak into the Star Trek convention disguised as the starship's doctor.
Security soon twigged I wasn't the real McCoy
What's the best armor to sneak around in?
Leather armor it's made out of Hide!
Why is leather the best thing to sneak around in?
I tried to sneak in a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor...
The Security guard suspected I was not the real McCoy..
Leather armor is best for sneak attacks
because it's made of hide
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