I wanted to make a new soft drink called Emotions

But my therapist thought that was a bad idea. He said it was not healthy to bottle emotions. Others told me that the product would fizz in sales.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditions it.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rhena_lahrie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Tongue, Teeth, Saliva, Roof, Soft Palate, Hard Palate, Uvuula, Taste Buds, Gums...

Wow, that was really a mouthful...

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What state is famously known for selling small soft drinks?

Minnesota

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sergeantsexxy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Which U.S. state is famous for its extra-small soft drinks??

Minnesota ! HA!

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/balkso
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Ivan Pavlov’s hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jetavator
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and wet?

Chewing gum !

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
When asked whether his former coach liked artificially flavored sugary soft drinks, Lionel Messi replied

ΒΏPep? Β‘SΓ­!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klaymens
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
In the battle of the mint - the spearmint attacked the soft mints - all they could yell was..

"Where are the reinforcemints"

πŸ‘︎ 398
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rictusbb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
The man working the bar tonight was real soft.

He was a bartender.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Locktaw
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
We can't decide whether to put in soft pink or baby blue flooring in the nursery

It's an infantile problem

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov's beard so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 246
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A man told me that throwing my drinks at him wouldn't hurt because I only drink soft drinks. But he was laid out when I threw a can of Arizona.

I guess he didn't expect a my tea throw.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the soft tissue between a shark’s teeth?

The slowest swimmer.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arkham_Asylum27
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Karma-Bot-Killer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I had to quit my last job, all I did was test soft drinks

It was just soda grading

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scamperillium
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Hard pour corn vs soft pour corn
πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Deathlysin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife's handbag is sorely in need of replacement. I offered to get her a new soft leather one, but she declined.

I guess she's not easily purse-sueded.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...

They brand themselves as MOMzarella...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hackmark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Where were small soft drinks invented?

Minisoda

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend plays classical music to his pet oysters, which he places stones within the soft tissue of their bivalves...

He makes cultured pearls.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My tailor tried to get me to start wearing soft leather jacketss

But I'm not so easily suede

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work for a soft drink can crusher.

It was soda pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My son threw a soda at my head today: So I told him I’m lucky it was a soft drink!
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Atmouspheric
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
This makes me micro soft
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebeastyboi75
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What goes in dry and hard, but comes out soft and dripping wet?

Spaghetti, obviously!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bacchaevski
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of soft drink do stoners like?

Baking soda

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UlteriorCovert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I crush soft drink cans for a living

It's soda pressing

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Captm_obvious
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
You be soft
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/krazy8dude
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Which soft rock legend stole my password?

Kenny Log-ins

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yahtzee44444
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
These jokes feel a little [Micro]soft... (From r/FortNiteBR with OP: u/J3tGames)
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The1WithNumbers
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is Pavlov’s hair so soft?

He conditions it.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KaamosMajere
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sunspotshavefaded
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What goes in long and hard, then comes out soft and wet?

Pasta you pervert

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yaklshakl
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?

He conditioned it

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov's hair soft?

Because he conditioned it

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/philzard224
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Which US state is famous for its extra small soft drinks?

Minnesota

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dani_SF
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WKBX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?

He conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyber_SpacePirate
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YeahChristopher
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov's beard so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 141
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mlucasr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov's beard so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov's beard so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?

He conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrmatt04
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThadeeusMaximus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?

He conditioned it.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sparkyrock
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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