Me, eyebrow raised: “And why is that sweetheart?”
Her: “Because mine has a crack in it!”
I actually laughed. I don’t really know where she heard the joke or if she even knows why it’s funny, but it’s a good start to the day.
Proud dad moment.
Because every time your dentist gave them to you she dyed a little inside!
He said, "Yeah, I brushed them with Daniel (little brother)."
I replied, "Most of us prefer to use a toothbrush. Does a better job."
"I did!"
me grinning at him
"Oh. Oh, mommy!"
He cracked up. I've still got it!
*Names changed to protect the innocent **Yes, I know I'm a mom, but it's still a dad joke. :)
With REMbrandt.
A Honeycomb.
Me from the other room, "No, use a toothbrush".
I said, “That’s a sweeping generalization.”
He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.
He just can’t part with it.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
And the dentist thinks my hair is lovely
We all have our floss.
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Me: Isn’t that.....a sweeping generalization?
...just wait until bed time, Oral-B revealed.
Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.
My five year old daughter had a blue colored sucker before bed. As I was brushing her teeth, I noticed they were a bit discolored.
“Hey! You’ve got Bluetooth!” I said.
Daughter: What are summer teeth?
Me: Well. Summer there. But some ain't.
I'm crestfallen.
He puts his pajamazon
Anyone else would of called it a teethbrush.
My oldest this morning as he brushed by me on the way to the bathroom:
“I have to take a pee”
Me:
“Why don’t you leave one instead?”
The look I got: “🤨”
Let me just say...they weren't too bright.
He got valhallatosis.
It's safe to say I'm going back to toilet paper.
- Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museum’s famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings they’ve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
- Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
- Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.
[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition
This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.
The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words you’ve ever heard.
The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.
He then proceeds to take out his dentures, brushes them and whistles.
You get an anal cavity!
If you don't, you might get gingervitus
I adopted a Laissez-hair policy
This is fine.
My wife was helping brush my sons teeth when he turned his head and she accidentally got tooth paste on his nose. He looked into the mirror and said excitedly, "Mom, I look like I'm Bluedolph the reindeer". I knew there was more than one reason I keep this kid around.
I am going to call it Brush With Death
