Squishy Puns

Because if it wasn’t, sitting would be a pain in the ass.

Me: What is that? Is that a Narwhal

Him: Yes

Him: It's my Stress Whal

He's nine. I'm so proud

Was pink Beats.

http://i.imgur.com/T0jRGM3.jpg

edit: Reddit gold for a dadjoke? Now, truly, I am a proud father.

Son: “what kind of bear never gets hot?” ... Son: “-a kool..alla “

Daughter: “what do you call a witch you’ve never met?” ... Daughter: “hermione stranger”

Wife: “what do you call a squishy collection of domiciles?” ... Wife: “mush room”

Daughter: “what do you call a Canadian cow?” ... Daughter: “moooooose”

Me: “what beverage do you get when you remove a baby cow from its Mom?” ... Me: “decalf”

I also submitted my joke about the earthquake, like a letter gone international (it’s in another post) or a wayward string gone rogue (in another thread)

I have the best family.

"Daddy I don't feel good"

I grabbed her arm and said "you're right you feel squishy"

Her preteen eye roll confirmed dadjoke status