My dad had a piece of skin from his shoulder grafted to his nose today. I'm just glad he'll always have a shoulder to cry on.
I also told him "now you'll be able to put your nose up at someone and give them the cold shoulder at the same time"
He thought I was "very punny"
What’s the leading cause of dry skin
What is the number one reason for dry skin
Did you hear that a judge has demanded Dr. Pimple Popper grab any person off the street and remove pus-filled sacs within their skin?
It's a seize and de-cyst order!
My boyfriend asked me what's the leading cause of dry skin?
An elderly inventor was becoming depressed with his life: his hearing was failing, his wife was always nagging him, he hadn't invented anything good in years, and his former good looks had been replaced by wrinkles and sagging skin.
He goes to the doctor to discuss his depression. When he arrives back home he has a huge smile on his face. He rushed past his wife and heads into the basement, where he immediately starts tinkering with a brand new invention.
His wife comes downstairs, gives the invention a once-over, then asks "What on earth is this thing, and how this supposed to help your depression?".
"Honey, the doctor told me working on this should have me feeling better in no time!" replies the man. He then proceeds to describe in detail how the machine cracks eggs, steams them, and flips them out onto a plate in under a minute, all at the touch of a button.
"But what on earth does this have to do with your depression? What did that quack doctor tell you to do?" asks the wife
The man replies: "He told me to work on my self egg-steam".
I get most of my news as a cream that I rub on my skin
What do you need to get rid of a demon with a skin condition?
Does anyone know if it's possible to have a skin graft taken from a buttock to donate to someone who isn't a relative?
Why did it take dad an hour to choose which skin cream to buy?
He didn't want to make a rash decision.
Why was the man who removed 10 potato skins in 1 minute so attractive?
I remember a time when plastic surgery was a taboo subject, but nowadays when you mention botox..
..no one even raises an eyebrow.
My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin, to draw out excess moisture....
What do you call a tariff on skin?
Moisturiser is good for your skin...
why are skeletons so calm
cause nothing gets under their skin ah ah ah ah ah ah
A friend of mine needs skin grafts for surgery, but thankfully, he doesn't need donors.
That's no skin off of my nose!
does anyone know if a doctor can take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?
I found the number one cause of dry skin!
I took my grandma to one of those fish spas where the fish eat all your dead skin.
So much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.
How many skin divers does it take to circumcise a whale?
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was not worth the trip.
My wife hates my collection of old snake skins.
So I have to keep them in the shed.
Why is the skin of tree trunks called bark?
What’s the oldest age someone could get a circumcision?
I just want to know the cutoff date.
I could have sworn that my skin had changed color
But it was just a pigment of my imagination
We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."
I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.
It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.
What is the best armor for stealth?
Leather. It's made of hide.
Your epidermis is showing.
That’s it. That’s the joke.
I had bunch of lumps on my skin
My friends started freaking out. They wouldn’t stop either. So I said “ I incyst you don’t abscess over this
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?
What is the leading cause for dry skin?
What is the leading cause of dry skin?
Do you know what the leading cause of dry skin is ?
The leading cause of dry skin
What's the leading cause of dry skin?
Day three: what’s the leading cause of dry skin?
Why are skeletons always so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin
How did the skeleton remain calm
Because nothing gets under there skin
Can you give someone a skin graft from your butt?
Do you know what causes dry skin?
What's the leading cause of dry skin ?
What is the leading cause of dry skin?
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?
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