Top shelf humour
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︎ May 28 2021
Youβve heard of elf on a shelf but are you prepared for ?
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︎ Apr 09 2021
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
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︎ May 30 2021
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him fifty bucks that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.
He said, "No the steaks are too high."
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︎ Apr 01 2021
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Got a job at a potato chip factory. On top of salary they said I could pick any flavor chip off the shelf once a month.
They prided themselves in their stock options.
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︎ Mar 04 2021
I saw a whole shelf of soy milk at the store the other day.
It's great that they've enabled milk to properly introduce themselves to customers.
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︎ Mar 04 2021
I tried to build a shelf to hold all my favorite Brie Larson movies
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︎ Dec 03 2020
How many bottles of each perfume will it take to completely fill one shelf?
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︎ Oct 27 2020
If my bookcase realizes it wants to store dishes instead of books, it has reached shelf actualization.
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︎ Jul 28 2020
My wife asked, βHoney, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? Itβs too high for me.β
It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
Mom moves expensive cuts of beef into the top shelf.
Dad: The steaks have never been higher.
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︎ Apr 07 2020
I'd say that's some good Shelf-awareness he got there.
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︎ Jan 07 2018
I put a new shelf towards the top of my fridge
The steaks have never been higher
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︎ Jun 20 2020
My friend bet me 100$ I wouldn't be able to get the prime cuts of meat from the top shelf.
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︎ Jun 13 2020
A man bet another that a group of hippies couldn't get the meat down from a really high shelf without a ladder.
The cannibal replied "I can't, the steaks are too high"
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︎ Apr 07 2020
Epstein once paid a man to hang a shelf full of hymnals.
I guess he really didnβt hang hymn shelf.
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︎ Jul 18 2020
Two hats are sitting on a shelf
One of them says to the other:
You go on a head, Iβll catch up.
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︎ May 07 2020
Building a shelf and couldn't decide on wood type, so I went with most poplar
imgur.com/4HJD9qe
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︎ Dec 03 2019
Why did I put the can of Spaghetti-Os back on the shelf?
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︎ May 23 2020
Jesus Christ, that's a blue shelf
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︎ Sep 21 2019
Forget Elf on a shelf....
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︎ Dec 21 2019
Please help your shelf
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︎ Oct 30 2019
Elf on the shelf
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︎ Sep 13 2019
I have long shelf in my kitchen where i put the meat at the top. Itβs safe to say...
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︎ Jan 30 2020
Youβve heard of elf on a shelf now get ready for
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︎ Feb 06 2019
I went to the camping supply store and was going to buy a tent but the pegs were on the top shelf...
The stakes were too high.
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︎ Dec 19 2019
I was getting a record player down from a shelf and it dropped on my head!
But it didn't effect me
It didn't effect me
It didn't effect me
It didn't effect me
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︎ Jul 12 2019
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf
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︎ Sep 11 2019
How can you tell the camera on the shelf was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shudder (shutter).
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︎ Sep 10 2019
I work at a grocery store and I accidentally dropped one of the eight cases of soda I was supposed to stock on the top shelf
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︎ Aug 07 2019
I used to work at a store that put the teas on the same shelf as the pea pods.
Whenever someone asked where the butterfly pea flower tea was, we would say, βBlue tea is in the aisle of the pea holder.β
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︎ Feb 17 2019
You only have your shelf to blame.
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︎ Feb 05 2019
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︎ Feb 03 2017
I saw a man today at the supermarket throw all the butter, cheese, milk and cream off the shelf in a rage!
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︎ Aug 19 2019
I wanted to buy a book on Albert Einstein's theories but it was on the top shelf...
It's information that's way over my head...
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︎ Mar 10 2019
New game for 2019, now on the shelfs!
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︎ Jan 11 2019
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
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︎ May 02 2018
Just be your-shelf.
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︎ Jun 05 2017
Shelf harming
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︎ Oct 23 2018
I think the final paragraph of my essay is on the top shelf
...but I don't want to jump to conclusionsο»Ώ.
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︎ Mar 06 2019
Tricky shelf
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︎ May 01 2019
A tanker ship full of red and blue paint crashed into a shelf and sank
All the crew were marooned
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︎ Jan 31 2019
I bet a butcher $20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...
He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."
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︎ Dec 13 2019
I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.
He told me the steaks were too high.
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︎ Sep 09 2019
I bet a butcher that he couldnβt reach the meat on the top shelf
He refused, because the steaks were too high.
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︎ Mar 09 2020
I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.
He told me the steaks were too high.
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︎ Sep 12 2019
Someone bet me Β£1000 that I couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf
I told them that I couldn't take the bet, the steaks were too high.
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︎ Apr 16 2017
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