I decided to sell my vacuum...
It was only collecting dust.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
What do you call a store that sells only bagels and donuts?
π︎ 299
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︎ Jan 16 2021
Because of his enormous debt, Old McDonald has to sell his farm.
To cover what he e-i-e-i owes.
π︎ 441
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︎ Jan 05 2021
I want to open a bar next to CERN so I can sell a piΓ±a colada called "The Large Hadron Colada".
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
People who sell meat are gross.
But people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
π︎ 52
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
I'm going to sell my Hoover
It's just collecting dust.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 29 2021
Why did the poor man sell yeast?
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
A salesperson came to my door yesterday trying to sell me a coffin.
I told him, "That's the last thing I need".
π︎ 51
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︎ Jan 14 2021
They're gonna sell corn on the cob at the Super Bowl, and it's rumored to be cheap.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 25 2021
What do you call a biker gang that sells bread?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
I had to sell my vacuum cleaner
It was just gathering dust
π︎ 22
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
Why dont grocery stores sell clothing?
Because they don't know what the woolworths.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
Someone told me you sell owls.
Hoo?
(From my daughter. Made me laugh)
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
What do you call someone who sells knock-off handbags?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
Why won't the shrimp sell his treasures to the fishes?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
Bought a Raspberry Bomb pudding for Xmas. Close to sell by date.
Better eat it before it goes off.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
What does a pirate do when he wants to sell all his stuff?
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 21 2020
My friend opened a tea store. He told me that every time he stocks the bottled tea products, they sell out within hours...
Business has been Brisk, baby!
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 01 2020
Why Kia doesn't sell cars in Finland?
π︎ 55
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︎ Nov 11 2020
I have this idea for a takeaway restaurant which just sells dairy
π︎ 17
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︎ Oct 31 2020
I used to sell security alarms door to door, and I was REALLY good at it...
If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
π︎ 80
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︎ Oct 13 2020
Did you hear the Trump administration is thinking about making it illegal to sell pre-shredded cheese?
Apparently they want to make America grate again.
π︎ 360
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︎ Jul 19 2020
The rather oppressive female mechanic was trying to sell me 5 new manual transmissions
Luckily, I managed to escape her clutches.
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 06 2020
When my uncle worked at the iron mill he made a fortune sneaking out material that he could sell. One can say he was very good at steeling.
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 25 2020
My friend injects his marijuana plants with sugar water as they grow, they sells bags of it for much higher prices...
He's trying to sweeten the pot.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
What do you call a farm that sells chickens and pigs?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Oct 08 2020
What do you call a factory that sells passable products?
π︎ 101
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︎ Sep 04 2020
My ex left me because I was determined to buy van and sell spaghetti out of the back, she told me it wouldnβt work
Should have seen her face when I drove pasta
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
So you don't believe that I sell plastic explosives?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
Elon Musk should sell planes
That could really take off
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
What did Elijah Wood name his shop that sells only bells?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
You know why just the head of a statue never sells well?
Because it's just a bust.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
What type of weapons would a T-rex sell?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
Just had a dealer try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.'
π︎ 18
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Do you know why Aldiβs doesnβt sell its own brand of nuts?
Because itβs would be called Aldiβs Nuts
π︎ 43
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︎ Jul 31 2020
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
Want to know how to sell a duck to someone who is hard of hearing?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
Why do they sell red wine reduction in stock pots?
Because doing it yourself is a paste of wine.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 05 2020
I used to sell skewers for a living
things were always sharp and to the point
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
Whatβs it called when you sell your soul to the Devil to be skinny?
π︎ 32
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
People who sell meat are gross.
But people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
I decided to sell my vacuum...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
A vegan told me, "People who sell meat are disgusting!"
I told them "people who sell fruits and vegetables grocer"
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
I had to sell my vacuum cleaner...
It was only gathering dust.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
I had to sell my Hoover today.
It was just collecting dust.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
Iβve decided to sell my vacuum cleaner this week...
Itβs just collecting dust.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
People who sell meat are gross
But people who sell produce are grocer
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
People who sell meat are gross
But people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
Vegan son : People who sell meat are gross
dad: people who sell fruits/vegetables are grocer
π︎ 47
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
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