6 strands of Kurt Cobain’s hair sold at auction in the last month for $14,000. You’d think it would have a very musty odor.

But really, it just smells like teen spirit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shua_mc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2021
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Why did Jesus stop selling items at auction?

He couldn’t make a Prophet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RogueVogueDino
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
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My wife says I’m addicted to auctions but she’s wrong. I actually stopped after going once…

...going twice…

πŸ‘οΈŽ 448
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 26 2020
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At an auction, I bought an old Nintendo game originally used by Queen Elizabeth.

Now I know how to properly use the royal wii.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2020
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My friend Joe was at an auction

I asked him: "Joe Bidden?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Robin_7883
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2020
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What do you tell your weightlifting partner when he loses an auction for a mattress?

Bad bed bid, bod bud.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ErichDonGubler
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2019
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I went to an auction today where they were selling a cheese grater once owned by both Hitler and Osama Bin Laden.

It was the grater of two evils.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 164
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2019
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At an auction at a Tourette's syndrome charity, I won a bid for an origami sculpture of scissors made by Dwayne Johnson. To emphasize the charity's cause, he replaced a bad word with a family-friendly word on his origami scissors.

The Rock's paper scissors said "Shoot."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2019
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All the props from the bay watch TV show recently sold at auction for well over the asking price.

When the winner was asked how she could justify the expense for old towels? Her response was that it is still the best way to dry Hoff.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/whitespys
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2019
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I won a unique item at the Celebrity Origami charity auction.

The auction's goal was to raise money for Tourette syndrome research by selling origami figures made by famous celebrities. To highlight the purpose of the auction, the organization in charge asked all participating celebs to write a replacement of a naughty four-letter word most closely associated with the disorder.

For example, George Clooney's origami penguin said Fudge instead of the F-word.

Margot Robbie's paper flower said Beach instead of the B-word.

I bid on the origami made by Dwayne Johnson.

The Rock's paper scissors said Shoot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2019
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I bought a crystal ball from an auction recently...

I figured it must be worth a fortune.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dens382
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2018
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Always go stoned to an auction.

Win or lose, you’ll be the highest bidder.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2018
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Why was Jesus up for auction?

Because someone said God forbid.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TryingToCareLess
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2018
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Was watching a car auction last night

My Dad and I were watching a car auction last night. A Corvette went for low money and I exclaimed "That's a steal!" to wich my dad replied "No, that's fiberglass!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tenacious_masshole
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2014
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Was at an auction with my girlfriend this weekend.

They're about to sell the ladders. They always go high.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/teakwood54
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17 2017
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I knew a Canadian plumber who was considering buying a toilet at an auction.

I knew a Canadian plumber who was considering buying a toilet at an auction.

After a while he said, "Maybe I'll make a bid, eh."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SaryuSaryu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2017
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Got dad joked by a matchbox car at the auction tonight.

https://imgur.com/gallery/1o6Yu

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ejh3k
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2017
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I entered an auction on Ebay for a water butt cleaner.

But, I got out bidet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Coffeechipmunk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2015
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I'm going to start a dating auction website

It will be named E-Bae

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drakeonaplane
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2015
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I was hooked on auctions after only going once

...going twice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 16 2020
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I was hooked on auctions after only going once...

...going twice…

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2017
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I fell in love with auctions after going once

...going twice

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ikissedtaylorswift
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2018
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