We’re in grave danger
I wasn't disappointed
The farmer says "Sir, I've lived hear near on 60 years and all that time no one has ever tried to steal a bucket of shit"
"I guess they don't want us to leave any of our crap."
Buyer: what’s the lowest you’ll go?
Dad: about 2mph, anything less and you’ll tip over
I've found the buyer so I won't be listening to any offers.
Buyer: Bike still for sale?
Me: Yes it is.
Buyer: What's the lowest you'll go on it?
Me: 2mph. Anything less than that and you'll tip over.
(transcribed from r/bicycling)
So he finds the man who owns the horse. The owner takes him to the stable. The buyer asks to take the horse for a test ride.
"Okay," says the owner. "But I'm a retired church pastor. The horse will only go forward if you say, 'Praise the lord.' He will only stop moving if you say 'Hallelujah.' "
Feeling annoyed, the buyer says "That's fine," and he gets up on the horse. After the seller returns to the house, the buyer, mounted on the horse, whips the reins and says, "Hiyah!!" The horse doesn't move. "Yah," he said, spurring the horse. Still no movement. Feeling a little embarrassed and stupid, he complied to the owner's instruction. "Praise the Lord," he mumbled, and the horse began quickly trotting away from the stable.
Wow, the buyer thought, excited. I wonder how fast this horse can go. "Praise the Lord," he said, this time at normal volume. The horse sped up considerably.
Amazing! I must have this horse! the buyer thought.... keep reading on reddit ➡
Our manager inherited some land from a lady he used to take care of. He told us a new buyer offered twice as much for half the land than his current potential buyer offered for all of it.
"The plot thickens!" my co-worker remarked. I saw it. I liked it.
My parents are currently in the process of selling their house. Mum has been tidying a lot because potential buyers have been coming through to have a look.
On a recent visit, I noticed that some wall pictures which had been hanging in the same places for years had been replaced by mirrors. I asked Mum about this:
Me: What happened to all the pictures?
Mum: I had to put them away
Me: Well what's with all the mirrors then?
Mum: I want people to be able to see themselves in this house
In sitting with our real estate agent the other night, he mentioned "you're good fodder" for proposing us as buyers to the sellers of our (now) newly purchased home.
I responded with "I know I'm a good fodder, but don't forget about the good mudder sitting next to me!"
Wife's instant eye roll and very vocal "ughhh" was enough to compel me to leave this here...