Customer: Cargo space?
Car salesman: Car no go space, car go road.
As a sole provider they'll likely get you something that's laced.
Customer: "Cargo space?"
Me: "No, car no fly, car go roads"
Manager: "Can I see you in my office?"
I asked the retail salesman "what's up stairs?"
He replied "no, the stairs dont talk"
Just from the first sentence, I knew he meant business.
That's the last thing I need.
He just kept saying he had 0% interest.
He hiked several miles to a farmhouse, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay overnight.
“Sure,” said the farmer, “my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are twenty-one and twenty-three, but they’re off to college, and I’m all by myself, so I have lots of room to put you up.”
Hearing this, the salesman turned around and started walking back toward the highway.
The farmer called after him,“Didn’t you hear what I said? I have lots of room.”
“I heard you,” said the salesman, “but I think I’m in the wrong joke.”
“OK,” I said, “buth I don’th know how thith will helpth”
He said: car no do that, car no fly.
I said , “it’s a big decision, I need to sleep on it”.
His business was boo-ming
I said “Hello, do you have any German cars?”
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
He often found old used shoes in thrift stores and re-soled them.
I thought it was total non scents.
He came in looking for a small coupe for his wife’s forthcoming birthday. He found one he liked and we completed a test drive together. The car was listed at £28,000 plus tax. He was deep in thought looking around the car but unfortunately for me he decided not to buy it. I was in my 20s, had a young family and working a commission only job so a couple of days later I rang him to see if anything could be done. He was keen on the car but didn’t like the £28,000 plus tax price tag. I assured him that this was a great price for the car, however he said that it wasn’t so much the price of the car, it was more the tax. He said, ‘I’d do anything for love, but I won’t do VAT’
When people watch me drive by they’ll say “Look at that S-car-go”
(A joke my dad told me many many years ago)
He was in tiers
When I do its usually a Spam Risk.
And through it all, he offered me protection!
A has bin
He said he can make the sale but has zero percent interest
But they don't buy it.
A Velcro salesman knocked on my door and said I should be using Velcro to tie my stuff down. I told him I would rather knot.
But every time I visit the countryside I get soft and lose my edge
I kept missing my targets.
His business operations were shady
I can really see myself doing that.
He couldn't a Ford to sell his Soul.
I reply: "Brochure!"
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
A couple of week later she sent me a John Deere letter.
He replied "Car no do that, car no fly"
He wasn't very good at ceiling the deal
Edit: a word
But I think they're pulling the wool over my eyes
But I’ll stick with it
And he said “no, we work in a negative pressure business”.
I told him "Whatever floats your boat!"
He just said "Oh, the hue manatee."
All I wanted was one night stand
"I'm already covered."
edit: shameless plug - wrinkledforeskin.wordpress.com
A car salesman is trying to sell a truck, and finally someone comes onto his lot looking for a large work truck. The saleman greets the man, and the man immediately explains his need. The salesman directs him over to the truck. The man begins looking over this truck, scrutinizing ever detail. Eventually he turns to the salesman and says "the truck looks fantastic. Because i need to tow a lot of heavy equipment, i will not be buying the truck". The saleman is floored. "But sir, the truck has a wonderful engine, big enough to haul some of the heaviest of trailers and loads!" The man replies "yes, but theres just one small hitch".
I thought they made a pretty good case...
"What do you call twins conceived on a waterbed? "Off springs!"
Oh, dad. Your sense of humor can't hold water...
Shit, now he's got me doing it. Send help!
Today I was at a Honda dealership finalizing a lease on my girlfriend's new car. The salesman was chatting us up and showed us a picture of his daughter. He says "This is my 2 year old daughter. Her name is Alexis". Without missing a beat I said "Alexis? Why didn't you name her a Honda?". Both the salesman and my girlfriend gave me the "oh no you didn't" look.
My dad tells me this prayer mat salesman started putting bombs in the mats.
"His prophets are going through the roof "
Buy one get one free? How about you just sell us the free one?
He did a volume business