Client Puns

Judge: What?

Lawyer: He's in a cent.

Judge: You're going to jail with him.

Easy to get a girlfriend. Very difficult to put an end to it.

Difficult to get a client. Very easy to put an end to it.

Didn't see that one coming

I pushed them over.

My response: why did he change his name to quickly?

Thanks for cuming and cum again.

The therapist looked at him calmly and said, "I'm with another client. I'll deal with you later."

The first one claims his client is trapped in a penny. Answering the second lawyer's confused look, he says, "My client is in a cent."

the second lawyer nods, then says, "Well. My client is a fish head steeped in hot water. You could say he's gill tea."

It's true: I have no patients

Oops, wrong sub

I was explaining something to a client and a real estate agent when I am interrupted by a Train whistle. I pause waiting for it to end.

I then continue my explanation. Only to get interrupted again for a good 15 seconds.

After it ends.

Me: Long pause.... I'm sorry I've lost my train of thought.

The agent chuckled. But I could hear everyone else rolling their eyes.

Outlook not so good.

So, i said, 'CFL, Incandescent or LED?'

Much groaning ensued amongst my colleagues. Client laughed a lot though.

I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy working with him.

The name of the page we're creating is recast.ly => Rick Astley.

I would always have to pick up where I left off with "psoas I was saying".

Image problems.

She was a small medium at large.

I work as an auditor and was out doing a review for a cemetery. I was having him explain their costing, and he said it costs around $3 per body in the ground. I quickly replied "Well that's dirt cheap!"

His blank stare said it all.

He was just doing asbestos he could!

victims say it was a shocking, hair-raising experience

I don’t want to go nuts right away.

I'm a massage therapist in a spa. While working with a client, she mentioned she plays violin, works out regularly, and runs a successful business. Then:

Client: "I also like to do a lot of gardening."

Me: "Seems like you've got your hands in quite a few pots!"

She agreed then continued about how she enjoyed gardening. She finished speaking, then after 5 minutes of silence she yells, "HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I just got your joke about the pots!"

Best response to a dadjoke I've ever gotten.

We stand behind our product

...and asked if her husband was available.

Her: "Yes, he just walked in the door."

(from the back ground) "And it really hurt!"

Me: "Oh, do y'all have kids?"

But I NEVER let them put anything at the bottom of the page.

That's where I draw the line.

What is the difference between a porcupine and a middle aged man in a Porsche?

A porcupine has pricks on the outside.

They were just chatting and she mentioned her daughter was called Paige, and he said she should marry someone called Turner.

I asked if anything was damaged when it melted.

BACKGROUND: Strokes can cause communication disorders, such as aphasia. This gem happened the other day.

Her (discussing beer with client): You like darker beers? I respect them but I prefer lighter ones like Spotted Cow.

Client 1: Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.

Client 2: Literally

It's a pretty Nietzsche audience.

I'm a graphic designer. Client "how much field work do you have?" Me "none. I prefer doing work at my desk."

My client was showing off her budding fringe tree and said "The blooms come out and then the tree leaves" I said "Where does it go?"

He is in a cent

It's true: I have no patients.

Judge: Stuck in a penny?

Lawyer: Yes, he’s in a cent!

Judge: "I beg your pardon?"

Lawyer: "He's in a cent."

Judge: Excuse me?

Lawyer: Yes?

Judge: He’s trapped inside a penny?

Lawyer: Yes. You might say, he’s in a cent.

Judge: ... you’re both going to jail.

He's a small medium at large

Judge: What?

Lawyer: He's in a cent

It said "Outlook not so good."

Judge: What?. Lawyer: He's in a cent. judge: You're going to jail with him for that.