Oops, wrong sub
It's true: I have no patients
Judge: Stuck in a penny?
Lawyer: Yes, he’s in a cent!
Outlook not so good.
I would always have to pick up where I left off with "psoas I was saying".
The name of the page we're creating is recast.ly => Rick Astley.
I was explaining something to a client and a real estate agent when I am interrupted by a Train whistle. I pause waiting for it to end.
I then continue my explanation. Only to get interrupted again for a good 15 seconds.
After it ends.
Me: Long pause.... I'm sorry I've lost my train of thought.
The agent chuckled. But I could hear everyone else rolling their eyes.
So, i said, 'CFL, Incandescent or LED?'
Much groaning ensued amongst my colleagues. Client laughed a lot though.
I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy working with him.
victims say it was a shocking, hair-raising experience
He was just doing asbestos he could!
I don’t want to go nuts right away.
Judge: Excuse me?
Judge: He’s trapped inside a penny?
Lawyer: Yes. You might say, he’s in a cent.
Judge: ... you’re both going to jail.
He's a small medium at large
She was a small medium at large.
Judge: "I beg your pardon?"
Lawyer: "He's in a cent."
We stand behind our product
I work as an auditor and was out doing a review for a cemetery. I was having him explain their costing, and he said it costs around $3 per body in the ground. I quickly replied "Well that's dirt cheap!"
His blank stare said it all.
It said "Outlook not so good."
But I NEVER let them put anything at the bottom of the page.
That's where I draw the line.
I'm a massage therapist in a spa. While working with a client, she mentioned she plays violin, works out regularly, and runs a successful business. Then:
Client: "I also like to do a lot of gardening."
Me: "Seems like you've got your hands in quite a few pots!"
She agreed then continued about how she enjoyed gardening. She finished speaking, then after 5 minutes of silence she yells, "HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I just got your joke about the pots!"
Best response to a dadjoke I've ever gotten.
What is the difference between a porcupine and a middle aged man in a Porsche?
A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
...and asked if her husband was available.
Her: "Yes, he just walked in the door."
(from the back ground) "And it really hurt!"
Me: "Oh, do y'all have kids?"
I asked if anything was damaged when it melted.
They were just chatting and she mentioned her daughter was called Paige, and he said she should marry someone called Turner.
BACKGROUND: Strokes can cause communication disorders, such as aphasia. This gem happened the other day.
Her (discussing beer with client): You like darker beers? I respect them but I prefer lighter ones like Spotted Cow.
Client 1: Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.
Client 2: Literally
It's a pretty Nietzsche audience.
My client was showing off her budding fringe tree and said "The blooms come out and then the tree leaves" I said "Where does it go?"
Coworker: "She said she was fired because she slugged someone, but it wasn't really a slug, more like a tap."
Me: "So, she snailed someone?"
I'm a graphic designer. Client "how much field work do you have?" Me "none. I prefer doing work at my desk."
Client: this building looks horrible I wouldn't be surprised if there was asbestos everywhere Me: hey we are doing as bestas we can!
It's true: I have no patients.
Lawyer: He's in a cent