I asked a lawyer how much he charges his clients. $100 for 3 questions he said.
$100 ! Isn't that a bit expensive I asked.....Yes it is he replied, now what's your 3rd question.
My server asked me if I wanna box for my leftovers.
I said “No, but I’ll wrestle you for ‘em.”
Being a restaurant server is a tough job,
But it puts food on the table.
My wife said she didn't touch my freshly painted Firetruck model.
But I caught her red-handed.
I built a model of Mt.Everest and my son asked, "Is it to scale?" I replied "No."
I'm a line cook and looking for a way to get in on some of the extra cash that servers earn.
Got any tips you can share?
Lawyer: My client is trapped inside a penny.
Judge: What?
Lawyer: He's in a cent.
Judge: You're going to jail with him.
What did the vegetarian swimsuit model wear to the beach?
My server asked me, "Do you wanna box for your leftovers?"
I told her she could have them. I wasn't in the mood to fight.
Girl friends and clients are like opposites.
Easy to get a girlfriend. Very difficult to put an end to it.
Difficult to get a client. Very easy to put an end to it.
People say being a server is a bad job
But hey, it puts food on the table!
My eye doctor told me I have some of the worst vision of any of his clients today
Didn't see that one coming
Where does a Cat showcase their modeling?
I recently got fired from a bank teller position when asked to check a client’s balance.
They said I should tip my server
I went to a Ford dealership the other day looking for a specific model. The salesman told me they didn’t have what I was looking for and that I wasn’t allowed to leave.
Husband: Excuse me, I have to call my client quickly
My response: why did he change his name to quickly?
A technician was under a server rack doing maintenance.
He was fired for having his head in the cloud.
So I ask for something easy at a restaurant, and the server recommends “well the chicken strips for 6$”
“Maybe it will but it doesn’t help with my hunger”
Why are models against air conditioning?
Because they use OnlyFans
A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.
New clients will flock to these guys
The problem with models
… is they’re all such posers.
Did you hear about the summer camp for aspiring models? They’re hiring counselors for next year, but it’s not for everyone.
The camp goers are pretty intense.
Officer: You’re under arrest for stealing the Wikipedia servers...
Me: But officer, I can explain everything!
I’m a server and here’s a dad interaction I had the other day
Me, pointing at his food: Wanna box for that?
Random dad: No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.
I know Reddit has servers that all of our jokes are stored in, but I’ve come up with a better solution
Why did tech support seduced the server which was broken down?
Because he must turn it on
Why did the snail buy a Tesla Model S?
To drive it around and make people say "look at that S car go!"
What does a receptionist at a sperm bank say as the client is leaving?
Thanks for cuming and cum again.
There's a girl group that consist of failed fashion models.
They are called One Expression
What do you call 7 rabbits in a line walking backwards?
A receding hairline
(shoutout to a client of mine who gave me this banger)
A therapist was with a client when another client burst in and said, "Doc, you gotta help me! I keep having a nightmare that I'm stuck inside a deck of cards."
The therapist looked at him calmly and said, "I'm with another client. I'll deal with you later."
A two-star officer was so vain about how good he looked in the updated uniform...
...he ordered all flare guns to be loaded with an action figure in his likeness. That's right:
the Very model of a modern major general.
Some dumb random puns from an Among Us server.
Happened on a discord server I’m on just now
Two lawyers were comparing clients.
The first one claims his client is trapped in a penny. Answering the second lawyer's confused look, he says, "My client is in a cent."
the second lawyer nods, then says, "Well. My client is a fish head steeped in hot water. You could say he's gill tea."
I caught a person faking being a model
My daughter gave me some model clay earlier.
I didn’t know what to make of it.
What is something both a lawyer and a gamer say every day?
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, “Is it to scale?” I replied, “No…”
I just showed my friend my model of Mount Everest.
"Is it to scale?" He asked.
"No," I replied. "It's to look at."
Lawyer says, my client is trapped in a penny
I bought a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, "Is it to scale?"
I replied, "NO!! It's to look at."
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