Ebay Puns

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 18,346 matches.

I don't know why exactly, they just said it was for biddin'

But the thing only makes pennies. I understand now why it was so cheap. It makes cents

For the 22nd time.

I thought, I cant turn that down.

I tried to search for a lighter but all I got was 13958 matches

Imagine all the Paypal...

It was secondhand.

... Papal.com

I decided not to because it didn't make any cents

I have no words to describe how angry I am

But all I found was 13,579 matches

...I searched for lighters, and all I got was 71,274 matches.

You'd think it'd be gone off by now, but it's in mint condition

But all I got was ten thousand matches.

Imagine all the paypal

A more bid O'beast

he goes, I added a bunch to my "watch list" and proceeds to crack up for the next 5 minutes

Dad: I've decided to put the Vacuum cleaner on ebay

Mum: Whys that?

Dad: had to, all it did was collect dust

... Mum: how did i walk into that

Be careful what you purchase on eBay

Spent $50 on a penis enlarger.

Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.

Instructions said don't use in the sunlight.

*Yep, my dad sent this gem to me in the form of a forward email from my grandfather...

But, I got out bidet.

I tried to look up lighters and all they had were 13,570 matches

all they had was 15,809 matches

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 12579 matches

I tried looking up lighters but all they had was 6743 matches

I tried looking up lighters and all they had were thousands of matches.

All I found was 13,769 matches

Again

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

I tried looking up lighters but all they had was 3,478 matches.