Online Puns

A list of puns related to "Online"

A woman entered an online pun contest. She submitted ten different puns in the hope that at least one would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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👤︎ u/wolf_taylor
📅︎ Feb 06 2021
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PUNNING NUNS! An online pun contest! youtube.com/watch?v=cyTM9…
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👤︎ u/tamnolte
📅︎ Dec 18 2014
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How do trees get online?

They just log on!

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👤︎ u/sreaht
📅︎ May 24 2021
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I changed all my online passwords to kenny.

Now I have Kenny Loggins.

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👤︎ u/PensionNo8124
📅︎ May 07 2021
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My sister was complaining her online dating profile only attracted pigs.

She's a real babe magnet.

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👤︎ u/BellaLugosisChips
📅︎ May 21 2021
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I begin my new job tomorrow, proofreading for Merriam-Webster, the online dictionary. I asked them if I'd be starting at nine, and they told me to fuck off.

I'll be starting at aardvark, like everybody else.

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👤︎ u/awesome_smokey
📅︎ May 10 2021
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I ordered a build-your-own pet online today.

It's called a Kit-Cat.

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👤︎ u/fireburner80
📅︎ May 15 2021
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I told my teacher that my dog ate my online homework...

... He took a couple bytes of it

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👤︎ u/LegAcyCoolBro
📅︎ Apr 16 2021
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I was out as a trans man online for years before I came out IRL

I was an e-male

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👤︎ u/Swanbrother
📅︎ Apr 07 2021
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When you order a clock online and it arrives

My time has come

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👤︎ u/Redmaxdog1
📅︎ Mar 09 2021
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I once met a girl online with spotty service..

It was an on again-off again relationship..

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👤︎ u/VentilatedEgg
📅︎ Mar 20 2021
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Why don’t fish do online dating?

They are afraid they might get hooked, or catfished.

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👤︎ u/Deerkiller14
📅︎ Mar 22 2021
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My 3 year old made this joke, I don't see it ever mentioned online

What is a cow's favorite drink?

A:a smoooothie

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👤︎ u/SirBaby
📅︎ Feb 07 2021
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Just bought a Sweet Car Online...

Previously owned by Neil Diamond.

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👤︎ u/andersonfmly
📅︎ Feb 01 2021
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I just joined an online site for gold miner dating.

My first search for a mate brought no matches, but did give me plenty of prospects.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Jan 24 2021
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I ordered a chicken and an egg online

I'll let you know

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👤︎ u/memetime66
📅︎ Aug 10 2020
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I ordered some stuff online yesterday and I used my Donor Card instead of my Debit Card.

Cost me an arm and a leg.

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👤︎ u/the_houser
📅︎ Nov 25 2020
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I got bored in Online class
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👤︎ u/Howdy413
📅︎ Nov 18 2020
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I met an online user with the username Caprigirl

If you asked me, she should have made her username Capridaughter.

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👤︎ u/sarcasticpremed
📅︎ Feb 06 2021
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Someone who likes playing racing games online is...

an eraser.

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👤︎ u/Unfussed
📅︎ Nov 20 2020
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I am so incredibly surprised by how easy it is to buy my shirts online...

I swear I nearly shipped my pants.

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👤︎ u/zjunkmale
📅︎ Jan 16 2021
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Dad to Son: "Have you heard about the new online game that's just been released that's heaps popular and getting a lot of press?

Son: "What's it called?"

Dad: "Month."

Son: "Huh?"

Dad: "Apparently it's twice as good as Fortnite".

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👤︎ u/Sando75
📅︎ Sep 28 2020
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Why couldn’t Mary and Joseph attend the online conference?

There was no zoom at the inn.

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👤︎ u/nathanlloyd
📅︎ Dec 23 2020
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Friend - Hey man could you call for some flowers for me from online?

Me - Yeah sure bro I will cauliflowers.

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👤︎ u/pranavbrijwani
📅︎ Nov 18 2020
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Tired of online dating? You're not alone.

Oh, wait! Yes you are, that's why you are online dating.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Dec 02 2020
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Why is christmas time the best time to make an online dad-joke filled advent calendar?

Because it's the most punderful time of the year!

Link to calendar for those who want it: https://pdfhost.io/v/TQuSCzy.W_AdventCalendar2020pdf.pdf

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👤︎ u/Leron4551
📅︎ Dec 02 2020
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I went online for constipation advice...

Now, I can't log out.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Oct 30 2020
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I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.

It helps me namaste at home.

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👤︎ u/UndaVosari
📅︎ Nov 30 2020
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I visited an online butcher shop today.

Google Meat.

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👤︎ u/zedhead0628
📅︎ Nov 12 2020
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Mario failed his online course

Because of his Internet Bowser

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👤︎ u/Slymood
📅︎ Sep 25 2020
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Making money selling stuff online is easy.

I just sold my homing pigeon for the 15th time!

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👤︎ u/keano4
📅︎ Sep 02 2020
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I like to watch People play games online. Guess that makes me a "Streaming fan"
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👤︎ u/Albin1116
📅︎ Jun 28 2020
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My wife has been online this week, buying lots of black and white fabric.

I do hope she doesn’t make a habit of it

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👤︎ u/NoFussNoCoconutters
📅︎ Jul 08 2020
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Did yiu know a major mathematical discovery was made when trying to put music online?

They tries to Log a Rhythm.

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👤︎ u/Bunytou
📅︎ Aug 18 2020
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I tried explaining to my grandpa that I would be having school online.

He replied confused and worried, "How does that work? Your education is on the line!"

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👤︎ u/iiSchii
📅︎ Oct 19 2020
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My wife returned a package of pantyhose that she bought online, but they only refunded 90% of the purchase price...

...they claimed the 10% was a re-stocking fee.

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👤︎ u/KW-DadJoker
📅︎ Aug 12 2020
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Whenever I joke about online shopping

I always make sure it's guaranteed delivery.

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👤︎ u/Joe4nna
📅︎ Oct 06 2020
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When my kids found that the fall term would be completely online, the result was instant drama and tears.

But now that we had a few drinks, we feel better.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Aug 15 2020
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My wife tried to order an exotic snake online, but when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves...

Looks like the boa cons tricked her...

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ May 13 2020
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My mom found a 1975 quarter online for $150. Here’s how it went

i look up the coin online and it is worth $6 in mint condition and tell her the value

My mom: we should ask if they’ll negotiate

Me: we should buy it and see if we can flip it.

I’m 16 and fear for my future kids.

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👤︎ u/shump23
📅︎ Aug 31 2020
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What do you call it when a teacher watches his class as they take a test and plays online poker at the same time?

Proctor & Gamble

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👤︎ u/weird_al_yankee
📅︎ Oct 08 2020
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Selling flatbread ingredients online isn't working for me...

This business is a naan starter

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👤︎ u/CryptoReaper5
📅︎ Aug 05 2020
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What does Venom use to commit crimes online?

The Dark Web.

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👤︎ u/morsodo99
📅︎ Sep 27 2020
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Hey kids for your online schooling do you prefer Google meet?...

...or Google vegetables?

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👤︎ u/Eagle4523
📅︎ Aug 17 2020
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How do trees get online?

They just log on!

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👤︎ u/Buddyw0wnus
📅︎ May 17 2021
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Me - Dad could you call for some flowers for me from online?

Dad - Yeah sure son I would cauliflowers.

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👤︎ u/pranavbrijwani
📅︎ Nov 18 2020
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