Help wanted from r/puns!
I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.
My ideas so far:
Adolf Kitler
Chairman miaow
Kitty Amin
Ho chi(huahua) Min
Robert Pugabi
Colonel Catdafi
Saddam Hussaint Bernard
Benito Pussolini
Fidel Catstro
I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!
Because they're dead.
Now he's aware wolf.
Tanksgiving
Credit: my 8 year old. I love her terrible jokes so much
He is Polly-Amorous.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
It’s considered a foul
Apparently he doesn't like fast foods
I'd like to buy an owl.
I said I don’t care what star sign it is
After that, he was feline better.
The last two are Portuguese.
He tried everything: rodents, small animals, and even cuts from larger animals, but it wouldn't eat.
As a last resort, he offered a virgin, but still the snake wouldn't eat. So, he called up the village's wise man.
Without hesitation, the wise man put two pieces of bread on the woman, and the snake ate her whole.
When Attila asked why, the wise man responded,
"Thine anaconda don't want nun unless you've got buns, hun!"
Apparently, he couldn't do anything, because it was just....
Toucan-fusing.
You buy it from the cat-alogue
After all, what cat wouldn't want to take his pills if they tasted really mice?
Just picked up a Kït Kaát. Now to put it together...
It’s a little fit bunny
Take it to a paleoncologist!
Alrighty Almighty
A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.
" It's a spitting image"
He's a bit of an awkwaardvark.
"you're a-dog-ted"
"What's the best breed for horses like those you'd see in the old west movies," he asks the owner, "my mares are just like that." The owner thinks for a minute, then replies "Dachshund."
The man is surprised, and replies "are you sure about that? I was picturing something bigger that wouldn't get trampled on." The owner nods, and says "Yup, it's just like the movies - if you want your horses to behave, you get a long little doggie."
The clerk replies “It’s a freebie”
His dad takes him to an exotic pet store, where they see a big, hairy spider. The father asks how much it costs. “That’s fifty dollars,” the clerk replies.
“Fifty bucks!” the dad exclaims. “Forget that, I’ll just find a cheap one off the web.”
Gonnit
Vet: "I'm sorry, I don't understand. It's toucan fusing."
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
The guy says "This isn't a pet, he's my friend and he can talk."
The bartender is skeptical and demands the guy proves it.
The guy asks the dog "What's the opposite of 'soft'?" The dog replies "Rough!"
The bartender remains skeptical and asks for more proof.
The guy asks the dog "What do people put over the top of their house?" The dog replies "Roof!"
The bartender gets annoyed and gives the guy one more chance.
The guy asks the dog "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time? Babe......" The dog replies "Ruth!"
The bartender is fed up and throws them out. The dog says "Should I have said 'Lou Gehrig?'"
But I’m broke and I hear they come with a huge bill.
He only went for a gander
Nothing fancy, but it fits the bill.
It's like a pet dog, but the bark is quieter.
I might have to get my back checked out.
Why do people take rocks for granited?
I just hope mine doesn't dieorite.
He was very unhoppy
He was a master of the duck shun.
Yeah. Now he's aware wolf
It’s a little fit bunny.
“It’s a little fit bunny.”
It's a little fit bunny...
It’s just like a pet dog, only the bark is quieter.
