Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?
It's pasteurized before you even see it.
My wife asked me to go get some milk
My wife: can you go out and get a gallon of milk, if they have oranges get 5
Me: *comes home with 5 gallons of milk"
My wife:???
Me: they had oranges...
What is the hardest part of making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cows across the lake 🥁
Don't use raw milk to make butter
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
My mother's breast milk tasted funny...
...but it helped me grow as a person.
What's Bernie Sanders favorite milk? not 1%
What's Bernie Sanders favorite milk?
not 1%
What kind of bees like breast milk?
One astronaut says to another “I can’t find any milk for my coffee”
The other astronaut replies “In space no one can, here use cream”
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
As kids, dad used to take his glass of milk and wave it across our face before taking a sip because...
He likes his milk "past-your-eyes"
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What’s the difference between milk and yogurt?
Yogurt comes from a more sophisticated culture.
The only thing that bothers me about Almond Milk:
Gonna milk this one for all its worth
What kind of bees make milk?
Where does the mortitain buy his milk?
What did the man say when he found out the milk man was sleeping with his wife?
A man threatend me with milk, chocolate and cheese
Can you see in a big vat of milk?
Not once it's past yer eyes!
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
Soy milk
Is the only food that tells you what it is.
Why did the milk glasses listen to the milk carton?
Because the carton was a litre.
I just had a guy throw milk at me
I asked fellow astronauts on ISS for some milk to put in my coffee but was informed I can't have any.
They said: "In space nobody can. Here, use cream"
I took a group tour of a milk factory ...
While inside, I took a deep breath and said, "Ahh, nice dairy air!"
The woman next to me strongly disagreed. She didn't have to smack me though ...
This morning, the milkman threw milk at my face
I saw a whole shelf of soy milk at the store the other day.
It's great that they've enabled milk to properly introduce themselves to customers.
What do you call two Milk Duds fused together?
What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?
When I open the fridge after a long day at work only to find water, milk and juice, I start to feel like David Gilmour.
"How I wish... How I wish you were beer."
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
A friend of mine makes good money selling camel’s milk, but he has to put up with surly camels all day.
Farmer milks his profits from cows
Her: Honey can you pick up some milk
Him:* lifts gallon * done
Her: no from the store
Him: I imagine it weighs the same there too
I was at the store yesterday and some dude threw a jug of milk at my head
Why can't people without legs drink milk
What kind of bee makes milk?
I wanted to be more healthy so tried putting oat milk in my tea.
How do you milk a sheep?
You say an election was fraudulent and ask for donations.
They are pushing milk on us
What kind of bees make milk?
Which kind of bees make milk?
What kind of bees make milk?
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