Beetle juicing on r/beetlejuicing
It’s illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice
Because that would be in cider trading
So I used to work at an orange juice factory...
But I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
I got a bottle of organic apple juice that said “concentrate from Turkey”
Wouldn’t that make it... turkey juice?
- I once got fired from a canned juice company.
- I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn't concentrate.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
I had this massive piece of steak on the barbecue last night. As it was cooking, the smell of the juices made my mouth salivate.
I had a thought. I wondered if vegetarians had the same effect, while mowing their lawn.
My job application was rejected by a juice company...
I shouldn’t have mentioned my solid experience.
What do you call some who steals a glass of juice on a cruise?
I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.
I had in-cider information.
When I open the fridge after a long day at work only to find water, milk and juice, I start to feel like David Gilmour.
"How I wish... How I wish you were beer."
They renamed the charger for the iphone.
Now they just call it apple juice.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
I can't think about buying any stupid pure freshly squeezed juice right now.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
My wife while looking at me: -.-
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
I once saw a guy staring at a can of orange juice, and when I asked him why he was doing that,
he said, "because it says 'concentrate' on the can."
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and c approach I guess
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
I took my young son for a beer today for the first time.
I got him a Budweiser, but he didn't like it. So I drank it. I tried him on Coors and he hated that too. So I drank that too. Same thing with Guiness and Whiskey. I was doubling up on everything and he was happy with Apple juice.
By the time we started on vodkas, I was way too drunk to push his pram home.
New album by Juice Springsteen
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
Are oranges born to be juiced?
... Or will they only do it when they are under pressure?
My wife saw me drinking from a Halloween skull the other day
Wife: who’s skull is that
Me: a man named Phillip
Wife: what’s in it?
Me: vodka and orange juice.
Wife: .......
Me: it’s a Phillips head screwdriver
I heard the Kool Aid man is starting a baseball team.
Help me out: need some rockstar/music themed food puns for my 3 year old’s birthday party!
Having a small party for my guitar and music obsessed soon-to-be 3 year old. Wanted to put some signs next to the food to make it more on-theme. We’ll be serving:
Chicken nuggets
PB&Js (in the shape of guitars)
Veggie tray
Fruit tray
Water & juice
I’m struggling to think of stuff. So far I only have
Nirvana Nuggets (which I realize isn’t even a pun) and PB&J Richie Samboraches. Lame, I know 😂 Help me out if you can think of any more!
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice
They were really sour about it
So with the new iPhone 13’s coming out this year they decided to change the charger name
It’s now called Apple Juice
What do you call an iPhone's battery?
“Dad, how do we make orange juice from the concentrate?” -5yo
“We use 3 cans of water to distract it.”
“What?”
“Ya it should lose focus soon enough.”
the eye rolls from my partner were fantastic.
This happened tonight. We were talking about “concentrate” because they read me silly jokes from their school milk cartons like “why does X stare at the can of OJ? Because it says ‘concentrate’.” So we were talking about what the word meant.
TIFU by telling a joke while overfilling a pitcher with that hawaiian juice drink...
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee”
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
My clippers ran out of juice half way through shaving so I started to beat the heck out of em...
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press conference
I used to work at the orange juice factory..
I got fired because I couldn't concentrate...
what do you call an iphone's battery?
What do you call iPhone chargers?
I got fired from the frozen orange juice factory today.
I just couldn’t concentrate.
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