The other day, my hot friend told me he could sign a piece of paper with his hotness.
Me, being fed up with him always boasting, I asked," How could you even do that?"
With a smug smile plastered on his face, he replied," Thermal Signature."
Felt the knead to drop a hot pun on my wife
What do you call a hot magnet?
If hell is hot, then heaven's gotta be cold
Guess that's why they call it paradice
What do Mexicans eat when it's cold out?
What’s the difference between a hot dog and a pit bull?
A pit bull bites the hand that feeds it, while a hot dog feeds the hand that bites it.
How come the stadium got hot after the game?
Because all of the fans left.
Starting today I will no longer be eating hot Thanksgiving leftovers.
My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”
I was texting this nun and things were getting pretty hot and heavy. Then out of nowhere she stopped replying.
I still can’t believe she holy ghosted me
Is a hot dog a sub or a sandwich?
It’s just a hot dog. No bun intended.
Posted at r/jokes but someone told me to post here. Guess I’m officially old.
Can't resist, the pan is searing hot.
They finally caught the guy who's been putting hot sauce in beer mugs
His name: Dr. Frank's-in-stein.
What is faster, something hot or cold?
Of course it’s the hot one, you can always catch a cold
Why do retirement homes never run out of hot water?
Because they’re full of geysers
Why is hot Mexican food like a credit card?
You pay for it the next day.
A Buddhist walked up to a hot dog stand...
And said “make me one with everything”
-Robin Williams.
A new hot single by "The Paint Rollers"
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
How do you make a hot dog stand?
You take away it’s chair.
When it's not raining, snowing or hot outside, what is it?
He was too hot for this world
What's the difference between a hot guy or a cool guy?
How does a Russian cool themselves down on a hot day?
Justice is a dish best served cold
If it were served warm it would be justwater.
How do you measure a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
What does a Rastafarian use to keep his beer cool in the hot tub?
Sounds more respectable and hot.
Son, don't say your crush is too hot for you
It was so hot yesterday I had to stand in the shade.
My wife thinks I'm hot.
I think she's hot too because our air-condition is broken
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn
My wife, who's eight months pregnant, asked me if I worry that it's been too hot recently for our baby inside her. I reassured her...
“Nah, it’s probably womb temperature!"
My friend always brags about hot beautiful his radishes and carrots are...
What do you guys do when your hair gets too hot in the summer?
Kid: It’s hot as hell in here. Dad, can get a protein shake?
Dad: There’s no whey in hell.
How will you call "The hot ones" members when they will die?
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog cart vendor?
The monk said "make me one with everything."
Monk handed him a $20 bill. Vendor handed him his hot dog.
The monk asked for his change.
The vendor replied "change must come from within."
I looked in the mirror and realized how hot I've become
I have to stop wearing hoodies on summer.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold
How do you measure a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh, now.
How do you measure how heavy a red hot chili pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now...
Why is hot faster than cold?
Because you can catch a cold.
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