Did u hear about the cow that jumped a barb wire fence?

It was udder destruction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xufox76
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
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Not sure if this qualifies as dad joke, but anyways here I go: I had to strongly disagree with a friend who accused me of being a severe fence-sitter

Then again, I get where he’s coming from.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musikcookie
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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Why did my fence collapse?

(post removed)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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Why do they keep fences around graveyards?

Because people are dying to get it!

This is one my dad said literally every time we drove past the grave yard near my hometown.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BackgroundCow8631
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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I came up with the top ten reasons you shouldn't pee on an electric fence...

(#1 will shock you!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ozzyfilms124
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump a barbed wire fence?

Utter disaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Super4rank
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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I'm on the fence about the COVID-19 vaccine, but the free stuff you can get for showing your vaccination card looks really nice.

I guess it's worth a shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ixfd64
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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I was walking past a field and saw a couple of guys stealing the steps off a fence.

A lady came up to me and said 'Aren't you going to stop them?'

I said 'No. That's not my stile.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegasketmaker
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Me: reading the β€œNo Fences” sign next to the road

My wife: none taken

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Epelep
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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Helen Keller reads β€œWarning! Electric Fence!” in braille

β€œWell that’s not a good sign” she said

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Akorical
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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What do you call a cow stepping over a barbed wire fence?

Udder destruction.

My Dad a actually told me this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wildjosh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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A hole was discovered in the fence around the nudist camp.

Authorities are looking into it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacoenthusiast
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Can an Admin tell me why my post was removed? It was very inconvenient... My whole fence fell down
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πŸ‘€︎ u/muddoo7887
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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My friend found a deer stuck in a fence. It took him 3 hours, but he was able to rescue it.

He’ll do anything for a buck.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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I'm pretty bad at building fences..

Oops, wrong place for this post

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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My buddy Linux would always lead the lineup with a bunt and steal second shortly after. And no matter how bad I wanted to swing for the fences, if the batter before me didn't make first; coach would turn to me and say......

UBUNTU.

SurPise!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MatthewLee1980
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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I was trying to reshape the border of my back yard when my neighbours fence fell over...

Wrong post

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheKiwiBlitz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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On the fence
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toe-knail
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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What happened to the graffiti when dad saw it on his fence?

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papa-Slick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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I tried climbing a fence today,

I was shocked to find out it was an electric fence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jxryd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Why’s there a fence around the cemetery?

Because people are dying to get in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicfort
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I was redoing the fence the other day, pulling all the 4x4s out and putting new ones in...

Sorry, just realized this was a repost.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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What time is it when a cow sits on your fence?

Time to get a new fence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Working-Mind
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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I saw yet another fence joke but this one seemed a bit out of line

So I offered to repost it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/codeninjaking42
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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I noticed the other day that my fence was leaning something fierce

It’s okay now all it needed was a repost

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scoopa-chalupa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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I watched a dwarf escape from prison today. As he climbed down the fence, he smirked at me.

I thought to myself, "Hmmm, that's a little condescending."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kordesii2358
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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I have a friend who was born on October 10th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long fence pole. He hates it.

It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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If you pee on an electric fence,

Urine trouble.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Enrapha
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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Jokes about fences...

are borderline funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbearaly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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How do you greet the cold horse across the fence?

Howdy Neigh - Brr

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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After attempting for five hours to get this fence post to stand upright, I've finally realized

This is a shit post

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5lash3r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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My neighbor got mad at me for planting my flowers too close to the fence...

I told them that they were still a few yards away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainAmerica80
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Talking to a guy about a building a fence. I feel I’ve settled into my role as dad pretty well.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrM0n0cle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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I accidentally broke my neighbour’s fence, so I apologized and got it fixed.

I said, β€œSorry about the repost.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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The neighbour's dog pooped in our yard, so my wife told me to get the shovel and toss it over their fence.

But that didn't solve anything.

Now the neighbours have my shovel and someone still has to pick up the poop in our yard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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What happens when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?

Utter destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sasha678910
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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Why are there fences on graveyards?

Because people are dying to get in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence

Utter destruction

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Why are there fences around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddysbrat18
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Somebody drilled a hole in the fence around the nudist colony

Authorities are looking into it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Eat_Mop_Who22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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What do you get when an elephant sits on the fence?

A new fence

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Why do they put fences around graveyards?

People are dying to get in

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Why did they put fences around the graveyard?

People were dying to get in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NormallyWierd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Why do cemeteries have fences around them?

Because people are dying to get in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wheelsonhell
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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Why do cemeteries have walls and fences around them?

Because people are dying to get in!

(My dad told me this one when we drove past a cemetery one day lol)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EverReverie
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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A hole was discovered in the fence surrounding the local nudist colony

Authorities are looking into it

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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