If you pee on an electric fence,

Urine trouble.

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👤︎ u/Enrapha
📅︎ Jul 09 2020
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I built an electric fence around my property yesterday.

My neighbor is dead against it.

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📅︎ Sep 11 2019
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Why should you never touch an electric fence

Because it hertz.

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👤︎ u/Clbull
📅︎ Mar 10 2019
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I took my kids to a pumpkin farm today and they had an electric fence around their parking lot.

As I placed my hand on the fence I told my kids "I'd be shocked if this is on!"

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👤︎ u/Rumin8tion
📅︎ Oct 20 2019
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Morning, ramblers! How do you get over an electric fence?

You volt it!

(What a shocker)

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📅︎ Aug 05 2018
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I've put a high voltage, electric fence around my garden...

... My neighbours dead against it.

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📅︎ Dec 04 2018
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I’ve just installed high voltage electrical fencing .....

My neighbour is dead against it.

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👤︎ u/hughdman
📅︎ Jan 18 2020
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I was walking up the aisle at my local Home Depot and spotted a cranky looking old man in an orange vest.

“Excuse me, could you help me?” I asked.

He grunted in response, barely looking at me.

“Um, I’m looking for a way to keep my dogs in my backyard. Do you know where those electric leashes are? I’m trying to decide if I should try that or just block it off with a fence or something.”

He turned to face me and looked me up and down with disdain, “Do we look like a pet store?” And he turned around and walked away.

I took a fence.

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👤︎ u/kgold0
📅︎ Jun 20 2020
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Senior sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

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📅︎ Jul 21 2017
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Semi-cruel Dad Joke

My Dad and I were working on outing up a fence together in the backyard, and he was changing the blade on a electric saw he had. He called me over so I can learn how to change the blade (so later in life I can be a proper handyman and all that jazz), except the electric saw he was using was extremely old and very outdated. So I told him, "Dad I really don't think I need to learn that as I doubt I will ever use that." To which he replied, "I thought the same thing when I was your age, then they took all my slaves away."

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📅︎ Jul 05 2014
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I put an electric fence up on my property.

My neighbor is dead against it.

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📅︎ Sep 09 2019
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I tried climbing a fence today,

I was shocked to find out it was an electric fence

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👤︎ u/jxryd
📅︎ Sep 09 2020
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