Taser Puns

A list of puns related to "Taser"

I got a really nasty shock when I picked up the wife's taser today.

Fucking expensive, those things.

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👤︎ u/awesome_smokey
📅︎ Mar 02 2021
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It turns out the capitol rioter did NOT accidentally kill himself with a taser to the balls and the story was just made up to disrespect him...

I don't think anyone is shocked.

(Source: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/capitol-riot-taser-death)

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👤︎ u/christag
📅︎ Jan 11 2021
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The man who invented the TASER has suddenly died

Family and friends are stunned...

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👤︎ u/bobbylake71
📅︎ Sep 09 2020
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I saw a cop zap a criminal with a Taser, but then shocked him again when he was already on the ground...

The first one was probably justified, the the second one was just re-volting.

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👤︎ u/KW-DadJoker
📅︎ Aug 15 2020
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I was running away from the police and they took out their tasers.

I was shocked.

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👤︎ u/MattBatz1991
📅︎ Oct 30 2019
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I love tasers

Watt's the matter is that they're so shockingly stunning that I might fall to my knees for them

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👤︎ u/g0t__em
📅︎ Dec 20 2018
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A cop just told me some stories about tasers. They were shocking!
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👤︎ u/shump23
📅︎ Jun 01 2019
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Today I discovered what a taser does

It was shocking.

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👤︎ u/Koisdu
📅︎ Feb 23 2018
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I recently witnessed a taser demonstration...

And I must say it was a... stunning display.

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👤︎ u/SadderHoshi
📅︎ Mar 14 2015
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Shocking!

I know a woman who owns a taser.

She's a stunning lady. :D

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👤︎ u/capngloval
📅︎ Apr 17 2021
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A cop stopped me and demanded i get out of the car. "You're staggering" he said.

"Well thank you. You're not so bad yourself."

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Dec 13 2020
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Wanna hear something that will shock you?!?

A taser

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👤︎ u/OnlyHereForLOLs
📅︎ Aug 03 2020
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A student is arrested and brought to court for carrying a weapon to his morning lecture

Judge: Why did you bring a taser to your lecture?

Defendent: Well you see sir, I have a hard time getting up in the morning. But I’m not a big fan of soft drinks or coffee, so I thought the next best thing was to give me a good shock.

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👤︎ u/Pumped_Pipe
📅︎ May 10 2020
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What’s an American cop’s favorite instant coffee?

Nescafé tasers’ choice

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👤︎ u/Guval25
📅︎ Jun 13 2020
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i know this girl that works at an electric company

shes shockingly good looking and has a sparky personality, people tell me they wouldn't mind sticking their plug in her outlet, and no one knows her current situation, she also carries a taser with her so she's really stunning, wait? wire we talking about this again?

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👤︎ u/skatrumpet07
📅︎ Jun 03 2015
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What do you call an electric first course meal?

An aperTASER

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👤︎ u/_Zeeloo_
📅︎ Feb 01 2019
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My dad told me he was once tased by a cop, then charged with resisting arrest...

He objected that, while being tasered, he was actually just resisting the charge.

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👤︎ u/ijustwantanfingname
📅︎ May 22 2015
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The next thing I'll say will shock you

A taser

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👤︎ u/GaryTheKnight
📅︎ Oct 31 2019
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