Juu ichi's own, I guess.
I found that odd
Ten plus ten is twenty.. Eleven plus eleven is twenty too.
And he wondered what was going on so as he was walking down the fence he saw a hole in the fence, and went to see what was going on, as soon as he went to look in the hole he got poked in the eye.
Then everyone on the other side of the fence started yelling "Twelve! Twelve! Twelve!"
A barberqueue.
Pears… And then he proceeded to fall out of his chair laughing. Meanwhile mom wants to know how she could’ve tested for this before getting in too deep.
Because no pun in ten did
My eleven year old asked me "How do the people on the news predict the weather"? I said "Poorly". She said "True".
Daughter: Why are you so mean! Me: Well, I consider myself to be above average. Daughter: What's that mean? Me: I suppose I could assign each letter a value and then add them up and give you the mean. Daughter: Are you crazy? Me: No, that's how you calculate the mean. Daughter: I don't know what that means. Me: I don't know yet either, I have to calculate it. Daughter: Ugh, why do you have to be like this. I'll be home at eleven.
Game, set, match, Dad wins.
"Forget never."
She's real proud of herself for this one.
At the ghost-ery store .. 😅👻
His mother gave him a piece of her mind.
No doce nor trece, just once
Especially when I went back for seconds
two times ten is twenty and two times eleven is twenty too
She’s an 11.
Not s-Pacific-ally ..
It’s called ‘seven’.
Finger Eleven
What do you call Santa on a horse?
A Jolly Rancher
I find that odd !!
Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve and thirteen.
So, in true dad spirit, I asked my daughter if she'd heard about the man raised by horses.
After I delivered the "difficult childhood, but a stable environment" punchline, she groaned and said, "I thought you were going to say he was your neigh-bour."
She learns fast.
there’s three main candidates in the running. first is joe biden, looking to keep the presidency; second is donald trump, looking to take back the presidency, and lastly is obama, wearing a sombrero and a mustache, going by the name… juan-bama. as the election results are tallied in, it’s apparent that it’s a perfect three-way tie in both the popular vote and the electoral college. the nation is in uproar, nobody can reach a decision as to how to choose the next president. but at last a solution comes forward: a literal presidential race. whoever can run the fastest lap around the white house—timed by a secret service member—will be sworn into office.
first up is donald trump. he boldly states “this will no doubt be the fastest lap around the white house, perhaps even the fastest lap run anywhere, ever,” but, not being in the best shape, he takes 18 minutes and 34 seconds.
next is joe biden. he doesn’t waste any breath for trash talk or boasting, he just readies himself at the starting line and—at the count—takes off. he’s running fast, really fast for someone of his age… at least for the first 5 minutes. but he forgets where he’s going, and finishes his lap as a leisurely walk around the grounds, taking 26 minutes and 49 seconds.
lastly is juanbama, who runs like hell around the white house. he’s running fast, faster than he’d ever run before. he completes his lap, collapsing across the finish line, and looks up desperately at the secret service member. “what was it?” he asks. “what was my time?”
the agent looks down at their stopwatch. “twelve oh-three.”
juanbama looks at them in disbelief. “well,” he sputters, “that’s got to be some sort of record!”
the secret service member shakes their head. “no, actually. bush did nine eleven.”
I was like, well dam
Ice-olation.
She's only eleven and says she came up with that by herself. I'm so proud 😭😭😭
Once
He got tentacles
It's import tent business
Inside Mozart were like, eleven or twelve wolves.
That's why they call him Wolfgang.
but idk, i’ve seen stranger things.
A few minutes later, I belted out “Once I was eleven sixteen...”
“Dad, that doesn’t make any sense.”
... 🤔 ...
“I’m a clock.”
You probably had to be there.
I was just randomly visiting my dad. He woke up when i was there. He opens his eyes, he's in agony and uses, what looks like all his strength to raise his finger pulse oximeter and says "E.T phone..... your mother"
I just remembered this. It was 20 years ago and I'm happy to say he is still telling terrible jokes to this day
The twelf!
They went to elevennessee
Mint condition.
My daughter will be 4 in December and I've been teaching her jokes involving animals and the sounds they make. I had taught her;
What do ducks eat? Quackers
What's a cows favourite place to go? To the mooovies.
She thought they were hilarious and for the next few days I would ask her to tell me a joke and she would repeat one of these jokes and we would laugh together. I asked her this morning to tell me a joke expecting one of these same jokes that she knows, then she took me by surprise by asking;
Why was the sheep on the naughty step?
I was taken aback and wondered where it was going, so I replied;
I don't know. Why was the sheep on the naughty step?
Coz he was a baaaad boy.
Few moments of stunned silence then me and the wife looked at eachother, then burst into fits of laughter while my daughter beamed with pride. Her twin brother is often on the naughty step for being a 'bad boy' and I'm thinking that she has put 2 and 2 together and came up with infant/toddler comedy gold. Very clever, and very proud dad.
Pineapple right-side up cake.
Ten plus ten is twenty. And eleven plus eleven is twenty too
Ten and ten is twenty. Eleven and eleven is twenty too.
