A list of puns related to "7 Eleven"
Mint condition.
two times ten is twenty and two times eleven is twenty too
I got a bottle of vodka and put it in the bike's basket. As I was about to leave I thought to myself that if I fell the bottle would break. So I drank all the vodka and then headed home. It turned out to be a really good decision because I fell eleven times on my way home.
Eleven on the shelf.
and I have eleven kids to prove it.
A nurse comes up to the first man and says, βCongratulations! You are the proud father of a pair of twins!β
βThatβs funny...β the man said, βI work for Twin Peaks!β
Another nurse comes into the room and goes to the second man and says, βCongratulations! Your wife has just given birth to triplets!β
βThatβs funny...β the second man said, β I work for the 3M company!β
Yet another nurse comes into the room and says to the third man, βCongratulations! Your wife has just given birth to quadruplets!β
βThatβs so funny...β said the third man, βI work at the Four Seasons Hotel!β
The last man is groaning and whining in obvious agony, βWhatβs wrong?β the other men ask.
βI work at Seven Eleven.β He replied.
Happy Fathers Day!
Heaven eleven
Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve and thirteen.
A few minutes later, I belted out βOnce I was eleven sixteen...β
βDad, that doesnβt make any sense.β
... π€ ...
βIβm a clock.β
You probably had to be there.
Me: Yeah, sheβs an Eleven
Student: How big is the test?
Me: eight and a half by eleven
Heβs eleven and still doesnβt know my name is Brian
English and Spanish.
The Trump administration is making a game out of getting Latinos out of the country, they call it deporte.
Spanish heathens have to pay extra to preforn their ceremonies. Pagan rituals
What sci-fi weapon does the King of Spain prefer? A rey-gun!
Do you know how many times anyone had to tell me how to say 'eleven' in Spanish? Once.
Exclusivamente en espaΓ±ol (PerdΓ³n por errores gramaticales)
QuΓ© comida es el mas mojado? El agua-cate
Cual comida no puede decir una mentira? La verdadura
Como se llama un libro sobra la revoluciΓ³n? Libre!
QuΓ© es exactamente una mejor que Beyonce? Beydoce
Cual animal siempre tiene un novio o novia? El Parejaro.
Cual comida es el menos diverido? Aburrito.
Sobre que papel de pelicula de Madonna no le quiere hablar? Evita!
Quiero que me digΓ‘is mas. Nunca tengo suficiente bromas!
I give it a rating of ELEVEN out of 10
Days That Are Puns
1/23 - January 23rd reads like 123
3/10 - Mar10 Day - Nintendo's Mario Day
3/11 - There's an awesome band called 311
3/14 - 3.14 is the first few digits of Pi AKA Pi Day
5/4 - May the 4th be with you - A pun on "May the force be with you." AKA Star Wars Day
7/11 - Free Slurpee Day at 7 Eleven stores
9/11 - No intention of being offensive with this one. 9/11 reads like the emergency phone number used in the United States
10/4 - Pun for 10-4, which is similar to saying "roger that"
10/23 - National Mole Day (Avogrado's number) 6.02 x 10^23
Please mention any I missed!
I told him, βOh about five foot, eleven!β
...does that mean you are having unelevened bread?
I said eleven inches, then turn the page. Eleven inches on those two pages, then turn the next page... Eleven more on those two...
Out of 20 Iβd say my singing level is like a tenor eleven.
An elevenant
Why didnβt the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
Whats green and smells like bacon? Β Kermit the Frogβs finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Β Kevin Bacon
If you canβt get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, youβre bacon my heart melt.
What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.
First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trumpβs cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.
Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.
If Kevin Bacon doesnβt whisper βHere comes the Baconatorβ before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost
Iβll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge thatβs not bacon
If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?
This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.
If we donβt build a wall on our northern border, theyβll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.
I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.
My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaverβ¦because Iβm Canadian.
When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know youβre getting extr
... keep reading on reddit β‘It was given an 8 and 1/2 by Eleven
My wife bought a frozen pizza that was purported to be the best frozen pizza, and supposedly you couldn't tell that it was frozen.
She baked it in the oven, got it out, and asked "So, does this look like a frozen pizza?"
My eleven year old son replied "not any more"
I'm so proud of him!
As we're driving, we see a Boyz II Men billboard and my mom says something about it. In response, my dad says, "yeah, they used to be called Boys to Men, but now it looks like they're Boys eleven Men."
I was the only one who laughed.
"Ten or eleven miles away from anybody else."
I put my goods on the counter and he rings them up. He proceeds to tell me that the total is seven eleven ($7.11). I look at him sternly and reply, "no, this is Chevron". He wasn't nearly as amused as I was.
So this morning on my way to work I stopped at a Walgreens to grab some snacks and drinks. (For those unknowing, it's a pharmacy/grocery) I recently quit smoking and found the snacking helps on cravings.
Anyhow, the clerk rings me up and says my total: "$7.11." Without even thinking it I blurt out "It's not a seven-eleven. It's a Walgreens."
Suddenly terrified that I am apparently a dad, I grabbed my stuff and left, the haunting echoes of laughter behind me.
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