Football Team Puns

Commander in Chiefs.

The punter..

https://twitter.com/russell__mania

It was a ball hogger.

They called me Soccertes.

The idea had its pros and cons.

Get all of their ducks in a row.

They have a lot of spirit

Then, My Luck ran out.

Every able lad within a few hundred miles wanted to play football for Central Catholic Fighting Knights.

Those who were familiar with the program, knew that the true heart and soul of the Knights football program was Sister Mary Margaret, an aged nun who would, in full habit, get out on the practice field and work on routes with the receivers, give pointers to the quarterbacks on their stances and releases, but most of all, love them like the second mother that she became to all of the boys in that program.

One year, on the eve of the state championship game, some evil malefactors broke into the convent and kidnapped Sister Mary Margaret. Everyone was stunned by the news, but none more so than the Knights of Central Catholic. They were devastated at the loss of their mentor.

As you might guess, the state championship game didn't go very well. For the first time in the history of the football program, the Knights were shut out. The Spartans beat them 42-0.

The next day, the headline on the local sports section read:

No Offense, Nun Taken

AC Milan

To get their quarter back.

It was the testicle.

The Packers!

They’re just OK

Hunchback.

Rumour has it they'll be great in the cup.

Why would anyone fantasize a losing team?

He heard they needed a little team spirit.

It seems they have had Apache start to the season.

EDIT: Lack of context. UK here who knows nothing of 'handegg' (Sorry!) Replace 'football' with 'soccer'.

... I told her "Ask Lance Armstrong."

Younger bro: I probably won't support Chelsea as my London team anymore...

Older bro: I would support Brentside as your London team

Dad: Do you know who I support in London?

Brothers: Who?

Dad: a wife and three kids :D

My mum groaned but we (brothers and I) appreciated it...

Asked my Dad what his favorite college football team is besides his alma mater and my university.

Dad: "Georgia Tech of course." Me: "Why?" Dad: "They're the only football team named after an article of clothing..."

-_-

Mom was really struggling to come up with a team name, she's not super into football, and when she asked for suggestions, my dad immediately blurted "How about 'Mom Brady'?"

"Man, I bet when the refs make a bad call their fans get reeeeeal testy!"

The punter.