Dish (food) Puns

~Nyaan~ bread

😂

Ill see myself out now 😅

Padawanton Soup

I think they called it Allah carte

One can say that I am 'self-maid'

It backfired.

You can only get them on dish.

Their best dish is the Tater-Thots.

Food truck with eggs being the theme in every dish.

"The Poach Coach"

Popular dishes:

1. Eggs Been a Dick (2 poached eggs and 1 average but adequate size sausage)
2. Omelette that one slide (you're choice of filling, but don't fucking test me)
3. The Dwight Yolk Em' (served in a plastic cowboy hat to go. Must eat while walking the streets of Bakersfield) 4.The Mr. Burns Eggcellent Scramble (smithered with cheese)
4. The Quiche a Grey (oralgasmic quiche with a money shot of sausage gravy)
5. The John Denver Omelette (full of all kinds of shit)
6. Jesus'ed egg (basically a deviled egg only more judgmental and boiled in holy water)

So my kids are clearing the dishes after dinner, it’s their job every day. My daughter was scraping all the scraps in the bin, which contained some food. Son: “Jeze Lauren you need to be more considerate, every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes”.... Ded 💀

Help me think of more celebrity food puns please!

The menu includes such dishes as:

-Marilyn Mon-roast beef -Patrick Stew-art -Tim Curry -The Cate Blan-cheddar burger -The Audrey Hep-burger -Hayden Panet-tiramisu -Leonard Nim-oysters

Add moreeeee

Wife: Did you hear Buca di Beppo (an Italian restaurant) is serving a three course dish called Friends, Romans, and Countrymen?

Me: Will we need to bring corn?

Wife: I don't know. Why?

Me: I assume we will need to lend them some ears.

Go ahead and dish it out, nothing is too cheesy for me.

A satellite dish

I was washing dishes with my dad, and had cleaned ~4 plates caked with egg residue on them. "How long have these been dirty?" I asked. A few minutes later I was washin a baking pan and it was impossible to get the leftover food off of it. Aggravated, I exclaimed "What did you make on here, eggs too?!"

My dad said "No, those are still from eggs one."

Niece: Cuban food? Are we going to eat cubes?

And when we got there, I swear this happened, there was a pork dish on the menu that was described as fried pork cubes. She ordered it.

I'm helping with dinner in the kitchen when a dog food commercial comes on. It was literally a 5 minute long ad telling about how generic dog food wasn't good for your dog and how I should buy their product. I'm scrubbing a dish, shaking my head, silently hoping someone changes the channel to something more entertaining and my dad looks up and exclaims "I don't know what the hell they're talking about!" I quickly look over at him waiting to hear his rationale over why he's so upset. He looks back slyly and says, "...tastes fine to me." I died laughing.

Sitting in the Chinese Restaurant, my dad is reading the broken English menu and says:

Dad: Does this dish come out with Beethoven playing?

Me: What? Why?

Dad: Well it's under 'classical dishes'.

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

Eating it was pretty grueling.

A bit of back story is need: My dad has got a big need to put inedible things in our food for taste (not actually inedible, just taste awful) which is bad for me as I don't really want to pick through my food to find all of the inedible parts to ensure I don't have an awful taste in my mouth.

Anyway, my dad was cooking an oriental dish and called from the kitchen, "UpsideDownie, no cloves!" I called back "I'm not eating naked, that's weird."
I chuckled, he chuckled. And then later in the meal I had a mouthful of lime peel... He wins.

We went out to eat at a Cuban place and my mother had ordered some food with a side of tostones (a plantain dish). She complained that they had too much garlic to which I made a joke:

"Yeah, as soon as you bit into it, you tatsed the garlic and were like , '¡Ajo!'"

(¡Ajo! is a Spanish exclamatory similar to "ooooooh" or "oh my goodnes." It doesn't have a direct English equivalent but that's what it means. The Spanish word for garlic also happens to be ajo, so I made a pun playing off the dual meaning of the word. Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. )

Last night went like this:

Daughter: What are we having for dinner?

Me: Food

Daughter: What kind of food?

Me: Good food

Daughter (getting visibly frustrated): What kind of good food?

Me: Good tasting food

Daughter: WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FOOD WE ARE EATING?

Me: Oh, I don't know, I think it's Bob or something

At which point my wife breaks the chain and actually tells what the dish was called, likely saving me from murder by 7 year old.

Some friends and I got together and went to a pub to celebrate the turning of the year.

We ordered our food and drinks a few minutes before 12am. As it struck midnight, the entire bar celebrated, and all the waitresses took a break and hugged and wished each other.

It took them a while to get back to serving all the orders. When our waitress finally brought our order, it was well past midnight.

At this point I couldn't stop giggling like a little school girl, but my friends gave me a look of disapproval.

As she was putting the dishes on the table, I said to her, "What took you so long? We've been waiting all year".

Dead silence.

One out my friends looks down in shame, the other looked to the waitress, waiting for her reaction.

She had frozen, her arm holding the dish above the table. Without looking directly at me, she said in dry voice "good one".

But as she put the remainder of the order on the table and turned away, I saw a smile on her face.

This has been a high point for me all year long.

My mom made meatloaf for dinner (it was fairly good).

While doing dishes, my dad decided to put the scraps and some grease on a plate of dog food. He put the plate and the ground and kept turning it to tease the dog. This was right by the backdoor, and since it snowed today, there was a towel on which the dog dried his feet.

Me: the dog peed from you teasing him!

Mom: that's on you, dad!

Dad: it's not on me, it's on the towel!

Chuckling ensued.

At a local indian food buffet. We've been there a few times, but today the food is a little better. I compliment the food to the waiter and he tells me they're trying new things and aside from a few main dishes, every day will be different. He's really pushing us to come back the next day because the next day will feature lots of goat dishes. As soon as he leaves, i tell everyone.

"You know what really gets my goat? A guy who wants me to get his goat."

BONUS: They were out of bread and when I asked why I didn't bring anyback to the table, I said there was NAAN.

so i had a buffet with my mom and dad in a fancy hotel restaurant. I go to grab some food. I had some trouble finding the sushi because it was all the way at the corner, but i found it eventually. I walk back to my seat, not seeing my dad, he probably went to grab some food. When he came back, he was holding a dish of sushi. He had a big smile on his face. my mom and i asked him what happened. he explained and we laughed for a good 10 minutes after. He said he was out looking for food, and he couldn't find where to grab the sushi. eventually he found a plate that had a good 6 pieces of sushi. he grabbed 4 of them, so that he wouldnt be the one who took them all. as he put down the plate, an old lady next to him screamed. My dad had took the sushi from her plate, thinking it was for serving.

Was out at a food event in the city. We walked by a stand that sold different types of pear dishes. I looked at the GF and said "Well it looks like they came prepeared". A groan ensued, while I laughed.

We were ordering chinese food and deciding on what to get.

My dad: Pick a chinese dish you'd like to eat for tonight.

Me: I'd rather not honestly, they're so hard and porcelain. I don't think I'd like to eat a chinese dish tonight.

I went to a Korean BBQ restaurant today to celebrate my birthday, and one of the things this restaurant is known for is bringing out a lot of side dishes. Like 20 of them, to the point that there's no way we could finish it all.

So after we eat the manager comes around and asks how we liked the food.

>Dad: The food was really good, but I have a problem with the side dishes

>Manager: Oh no, I'm so sorry, what was the problem?

>Dad: There weren't enough of them, the selection was too small!!

At this point he starts doing the dad laugh, but the manager still didn't realize he was kidding, so my mom had to butt in and say it was wonderful. Hope we didn't offend or anything -.-

Planning out the holiday potluck in the company kitchen.

M: Hey do we have any more of those things to keep the food hot? The chafing dish things. What do you call those?

G: I think they're Bunsen B-... wait no.

B: Burners?

M: Yeah but there's another word for them

G: Yeah. What is it?

B: Burners.

M: No that's not right.

....

M: We should ask Sean Paul. He would know

.... ?

M: Cause he be burnin'.