Why did the student throw a 64 pack of Crayola crayons at his art teacher after he was done with his test?
He wanted to pass with flying colors.
I thought of that myself.
π︎ 51
π
︎ May 13 2021
Co-worker: "A woman's work is never done."
Me: "That's why men get paid more, because we get the job done."
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 27 2021
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 15 2021
Sorry if this has been done before, Iβm new to the sub
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 11 2021
Over heard a customer at my store say βOK weβre done letβs hit the roadβ
I butted in and said donβt do that itβll hurt.
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 04 2021
Once we had a cooking exam. After I finished, teacher said, that it was well done
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 23 2021
Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done.
Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
π︎ 494
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
My friend asked me if we could end lunch after I was done my sandwich. I took one more bite and then said...
"Actually, that's a wrap!"
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 20 2021
We thought we were done with 2020 forever
But next year is 2022 (2020 too).
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 21 2021
Every morning, I like to stand in front of a mirror and think about all the good things I've done.
It's just a moment of reflection.
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 10 2021
Taylor Swift recently got some lab work done.
Turns out she has bad blood.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 17 2021
My son asked his teacher, "If a person should be punished for something he hasn't done?"
"NO" Said the teacher. "Of course not."
"Great" said my son. "I haven't done my homework. "
π︎ 28
π
︎ Apr 29 2021
A lot of people think that crop circles are done by alien aircrafts.
But I think they are done by cereal killers.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 21 2021
Why does nothing get done in Horse Parliament?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
I hired a gardener because my wife said she would have sex with me after I got the yard work done.
Everything was going great until I went to pay him and he said βyour wife already took care of it.β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 07 2021
It's also, done by A minor
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
I saw Kate Middleton's sister leaving a plastic surgeon's office the other day, but I can't tell you what work she had done.
That would be a Pippa violation.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 08 2021
My wife was hurrying me along and asking when things were going to be done so I asked her if she was my clone from Moscow. She looked confused and said "No, why?"
I said "Because you're Russian me."
π︎ 95
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
What do we call a crime scene of a crime done by spiders?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
At the office barbecue, I grilled some rare steak for our boss, and he said, βI like it well done.β
I said, βThanks. That means a lot.β
π︎ 101
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
A steak that isn't done properly...
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
Look guys I done a meme!
π︎ 155
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
A guyβs Mom comes to visit him at his job at the aquarium where she finds him feeding a baby dolphin. She says look at you, you were smart. You could have had a real job, really done some good for the world. Her son snapped back,...
Hey, my job serves a youthful porpoise!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
I'm done with dating mermaids.
I'm ready for A riel woman.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 23 2020
Do degrees even matter as long as the person gets the job done?
π︎ 353
π
︎ Aug 03 2020
I read a study that sailing in Finland is mostly done by women
If a man takes the helm, they're afraid that Helsinki
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
My wife often uses the promise of raunchy sex to get little jobs done around the house.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
This might be my crowning achievement. If it's been done before, I apologize for nothing. Grape minds think alike- nope wrong fruit.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
Another year has came and went, and there are some things I wish I couldβve done differently
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Did you think 2020βs done with you? Well youβre wrong!
Because next year is 2022
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
Teacher: "You know, you really should have done your homework. It was in your best interest."
Kid: "Yeah, my dog ate it. How'd you know dogs were my best interest?"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
And that's how it's done
π︎ 34
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
Well Done
π︎ 32
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
As a short guy, I was completely sure there was nothing to be done about my height. I went to the doctor, turns out I had scoliosis.
π︎ 224
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
On reflection, there's a lot of stuff I'd like to have done differently this past year.
But hey, hindsight is 2020
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
Therapy done right
π︎ 750
π
︎ Jun 21 2020
There are so many things I would've done differently this last year
But hey, hindsight is 2020
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
As this year is coming to a close, I find myself thinking about all the things I would have done differently.
Seems like I got 20/20 hindsight.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
What have I done...
π︎ 83
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
There was a remake of Die Hard done by fish
The antagonist was Hans Grouper
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
I can always tell what I should have done as long as I'm looking at ketchup.
Yeah, you could say I have perfect Heinz-site
π︎ 29
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
Why did Popeye write to the Italian food company Bertolli, thanking them for everything theyβd done?
They made olive oil spread.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
For everyone glad to be done with 2020...
... just remember next year is 2022.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
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