Have you ever noticed that Hasbro has cornered the entire board game industry?
I guess you can say they own a monopoly.
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︎ Jan 09 2019
A group of ravens chased individual crows until the crows were cornered together
In other words, a conspiracy of ravens premeditated a murder of crows.
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︎ Jul 31 2017
Everyone at my therapistβs office hates it when I stand on one corner of the room and blow air at people.
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Around the turn of 1900, two Friars move to London to start up a florist shop. Well this didn't sit well with the established florist shop down on the corner.
The other shop owner called his buddy to have someone trash their store. They sent Hugh, big guy like 6'3'' 300pounds. Hugh goes in and busts the store up and scares the Friars off, sending them back to the monastery.
The moral of the story is, Hugh and only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.
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︎ Jul 05 2020
A colleague at worked complained he couldn't find any clean cups. "Maybe they're in the naughty corner," I offered. "Why would they be there?" he asked.
"Because they were acting like mugs."
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︎ Jul 10 2020
When I have sleep paralysis this is what I see in the CORNer
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︎ Apr 19 2020
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner of a room.
They're normally around 90 degrees.
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︎ May 12 2020
My 4yo son was surprised I saw him doing something out of the corner of my eye. He asked how I saw him and I said, "Grown ups see all kinds of things."
"That's why it's called adult super-vision."
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︎ Mar 29 2020
Me: Son, there is a soulmate for you on every corner of the earth
Son: But the earth is round
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︎ Apr 23 2020
Spring is just around the corner
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︎ Mar 13 2019
It in the CORNer of the room
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︎ Jan 03 2020
βI see,β said the blind man...
...as he picked up his hammer and saw.
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︎ Jul 23 2020
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︎ Dec 13 2019
Why is the corner of the room very hot?
Because itβs at 90degrees.
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︎ Feb 16 2020
Looks like Tesla is cutting a lot of corners.
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︎ Nov 22 2019
Dad I am cold.. If youβre cold, go eat your lunch in the corner. Why?
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︎ Jan 14 2020
Did you hear about the shop around the corner that sells Indian ice cream?
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︎ Feb 16 2020
How did the circle know the square had nothing on him?
Because he said he had him cornered.
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︎ May 25 2020
This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevorβs love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevorsβs degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevorβs front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasnβt keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
βWellβ said Jeff, βAs Iβm sure you know the convention comes to town laterβ.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
βYes of courseβ replied Trevor
...
keep reading on reddit β‘
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︎ Aug 07 2020
Iβve decided to open a Star Wars themed corner grocery store.
Iβm calling it the Dagobah Bodega
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︎ Dec 12 2019
I was cold in the house and asked my Dad to turn the heating up. He said βGo stand in the corner....
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︎ Jan 21 2020
My daughter told me she was really cold today
I told her to stand in the corner because it's 90 degrees
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︎ Aug 04 2020
TIL the Pentagon was supposed to be the Octagon.
But the contractor kept cutting corners.
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︎ Feb 08 2020
How do you confuse an idiot?
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︎ May 23 2020
What did one wall say to another?
''Let's meet at the corner''
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︎ Jul 23 2020
Every time the doorbell rings, my dog runs and stands in the corner.
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︎ Nov 07 2019
I always get lost when maps crop corners because it turns into a maize
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︎ Dec 04 2019
My daughter came up with this one
Hey, do you know where the farm is?
Just around the CORNer.
Super proud.
Yes, we live in Ohio. All the farms here are corn.
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︎ Jul 31 2020
It's cold and gross outside, but spring is just around the corner!
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︎ Feb 12 2019
There's a German butcher around the corner from the hospital.
..Β ...just in case someone takes a turn for a wurst.
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︎ Nov 11 2019
Son-βDad itβs cold in here, can we turn the thermostat upβ
Me - βNo just go stand in the cornerβ
Son -βWhy?β
Me - βBecause it is always at 90 degreesβ
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︎ Jul 18 2020
I like to stand in the corner at parties and blow on anyone who walks by.
People hate it, but Iβm a fan.
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︎ Sep 14 2019
Why don't Zen Buddhists vacuum in the corners of the monastery?
Because they have no attachments.
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︎ Jul 29 2019
Two strips of tarmac are arguing about who is the toughest. They have in idea to fight the shady looking guy in the corner to prove how tough they are. The barman stops them.
I wouldn't mess with him lads. He's a cycle path.
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︎ Sep 23 2019
Spring is around the corner!
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︎ Feb 03 2019
Dad: Years ago I had the opportunity to meet R.E.M., and we even took a picture together with my buddies.
Son: Where are you in the photo?
Dad: That's me in the corner.
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︎ Jun 05 2020
When Christmas is just around the corner.
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︎ Nov 12 2018
Have you been to the Chinese place on the corner? It's supposed to...
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︎ Nov 19 2018
With Fatherβs Day right around the corner I wanted to share with you my beloved dadβs last words:
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︎ Jun 14 2019
What do you call a noodle standing on a corner?
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︎ Jul 28 2017
At dinner tonight my mother in law asked why my sons knife had a bend in it
I told her itβs so he can cut corners
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︎ Jun 24 2020
I just got promoted to general manager at the aquarium!
I'm going to have a corner offish and everything!
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︎ May 27 2020
My 3yr old son told me there was a real dinosaur in the house! So we spent the morning looking for it when we saw a tail around the corner, but it was just a fossil-arm.
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︎ Jan 22 2019
What does a physicist say as he drives around a fast corner
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︎ Jul 01 2019
My lawnmower man cuts corners by not cutting corners.
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︎ Jan 22 2019
[from my 4yo boy] How do you keep warm in a cold room?
Go to the corner there always around 90Β°
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︎ May 08 2020
My friend said he was cold, so I said, "go stand in a corner, they're always 90 degrees."
His house is a circle... He's been walking around confused for three hours now, I am getting concerned.
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︎ Oct 04 2018
Why did the 8-ball go into the corner pocket?
It took its cue from the white ball.
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︎ Jun 18 2019
I've been cutting corners my whole life...
But now I am a well-rounded person, so it worked out pretty well.
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︎ May 17 2019
If you are cold, DONT TOUCH MY THERMOSTAT! Just move your bed to the corner of your room where its 90 degrees.
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︎ Jan 07 2019
The person who invented the wheel to make life easier is so lazy
All he did was cut corners
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︎ Mar 26 2020
π︎ 5k
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︎ Sep 17 2013
My wife traumatically ripped the blankets off me last night.
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︎ Mar 16 2019
Went to the corner shop today
and i bought 4 corners.............
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︎ Mar 07 2019
Dad: You look cold, son. Try standing in the corner
They are usually around 90 degrees
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︎ Jul 22 2018
Why was the boy sweating in the corner?
Itβs 90 degrees over there.
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︎ Apr 03 2019
Spring is just around the corner.
https://i.imgur.com/qj2acmP.jpg
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︎ Feb 10 2017
Winter is almost over and spring is just round the corner.
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︎ Mar 15 2018
Bad news for agoraphobics,
a cure is just around the corner!
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︎ May 17 2020
Go stand in the corner.
My teacher dropped this one in math class today.
Girl: it's so cold in here
Teacher: why don't you go stand in the corner
Girl: [confused look] why?
Teacher: because it's 90 degrees over there
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︎ Jan 29 2014
If you're ever cold, put yourself in a corner
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︎ Feb 20 2020
My therapist hates it when I stand in the corner of the waiting room, blowing air at people.
Itβs annoying, but Iβm a big fan.
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π
︎ Dec 03 2019
If your ever cold, stand in the corner.
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︎ Feb 11 2020
If you're cold, stand in the corner
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︎ Feb 01 2020
Why should you stay in the corner when you are cold?
Because it's 90 degrees over there
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︎ Feb 02 2020
Dad: Are you cold
Me: yes
Dad: then you should stand in a corner
Me: why
Dad: because itβs 90 degrees
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Feeling cold? Go stand in the corner
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︎ Sep 17 2019
My daughter said she was cold in the house.
I told her to go stand in the corner. She asked me why.
I told her because it was 90 degrees.
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︎ Aug 05 2020
If you are cold, stand in a corner. They are usually 90Β°
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︎ Sep 22 2019
A kid told me he was cold so I told him to go stand in the corner
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︎ Jul 14 2019
Why should you stand in a corner when youβre cold?
Theyβre usually about 90 degrees.
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︎ May 26 2019
Every time my doorbell rings, my dog jumps up and stands in the corner.
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︎ Aug 22 2019
Every time I go to my therapist, I stand in one corner of the waiting room, blowing air at people.
Everyone hates it, but Iβm a fan.
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︎ Jun 09 2019
If youβre cold, go sit in the corner.
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︎ May 08 2019
Son: dad, I feel cold. Dad: stay in the corner. Son: why?
Dad: because it's 90 degrees.
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︎ Apr 24 2019
If your ever cold just go in a corner
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︎ Aug 02 2019
My dad always told me if I got too cold to stand in the corner...
... because the corner is 90 degrees!
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︎ Jul 28 2019
If youβre ever cold, just go stand in the corner.
Itβs always 90 degrees there.
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︎ Jan 10 2019
I used to hate my job standing at one corner of the room, blowing air at people.
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︎ Jul 21 2018
What do mathematicians when they feel cold?
They go into a corner cause there are 90 degrees.
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︎ Jun 03 2020
What did one wall say to the other wall?
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︎ May 30 2020
Oh you're cold?
Go into a corner to warm up it is usually around 90 degrees.
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︎ Apr 28 2020
If you ever get cold just stand in the corner for a bit
They are usually around 90 degrees
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︎ Apr 08 2019
If youβre cold stand in a corner
Theyβre usually 90 degrees
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︎ Sep 17 2018
Go make a hole in the corner of the wall...
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︎ Aug 13 2018
My daughter: Dad, Iβm cold.
Me: Go to the corner, itβs 90 degrees.
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︎ Jan 25 2020
My son said he was cold, so I told him to go stand in the corner...
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︎ Oct 19 2018
If you get cold in winter remember to stand in the corner of the room
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︎ Jan 20 2019
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