I tried googling tips to stop procrastinating but I ended up reading about photography

Turns out I can’t focus!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/substantiallypartial
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2021
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I lost the tips of my feet in an accident, and later when I told my friend what happened he suddenly punched me.

Turns out he’s lack-toes intolerant

πŸ‘οΈŽ 117
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Eternal_Punshine
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2021
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Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...

Riceless

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
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Pri-tip for you

Prison is easier if you stay incell

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zhukov76
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2021
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And that’s not the tip of the iceberg
πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AlyciaGiuls
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20 2021
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If you tilt a Q-tip on it's side, /r/Jokes/comments/mh26ew/…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TwerpOfThunder
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31 2021
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Oh damn guess I get to keep my tip
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Castille_92
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 05 2020
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My kid said he didn’t want the tri tip I bought him for dinner

So I told him if he didn’t eat, his life would be at steak

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Devin-707
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2020
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I kept telling my brother not to put the Q-tip in too deep, but he never listens to my words.

It goes into one ear, and out the other.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mama_justkilledaman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2021
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I tried to give the Uber Eats driver another tip for my Vietnamese soup.

He said to pho-get it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2021
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Don’t forget to tip the waitress
πŸ‘οΈŽ 120
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DesDesign11
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2020
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thanks for the tip
πŸ‘οΈŽ 214
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MattloKei
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2020
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Life Pro Tip ~ Don't ever put ducks in a cement mixer because…

You'll get quacks in the pavement!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2020
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Pro tip: If you are looking for a cheap way to work out at home, consider using milk jugs as weights.

But be sure to use almond or soy milk, I’ve heard they’re the healthier alternatives.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jimothy05
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
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Those tips should never be foresakeskin.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/learjet2014
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2020
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The tall guy who tips off the ball to start basketball games was found deceased at mid-court...

Dead center.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
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Why did the egg tip the waiter

Because the food was eggcellent

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yakismoki899
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2020
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I have a great safety tip for Halloween this year

Wear a mask!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SchmohawkWokeSquawk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2020
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Christmas Tip
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/acadiel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2018
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Son, you should always tip the waitress

Tip her, but don’t let her fall

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chuffedmemes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2020
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Customers always ask if I take tips

But I say no since I don't like change

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Captain-Americano
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
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Dis a tip of the cone
πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2020
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Don’t forget to tip your server
πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PanchofromAZ
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16 2019
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My girlfriend told me that she was worried she was turning into a costal area at the southwestern tip of the Gower Peninsula in south Wales. I said to her...

Don't be Rhossili Bae

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
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Those tips should never be foresakeskin.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/learjet2014
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2020
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I always give good tips to my waiters

"be nice to your customers"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kinjago
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2020
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Tech tip: It’s dangerous to download β€œCome Sail Away” or β€œSatisfaction” on ITunes. β€œTurn, Turn, Turn” is perfectly fine however.

Styx and Stones may break your phones, but the Byrds will never hurt you.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2018
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Pro Tip: If you have a gashed wound, it is cheaper to go to a comedy club than the emergency room.

You just pay the cover charge and they'll have you in stitches.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cozykinkajou
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2020
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Helpful tip for a knife fight
πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ferrybig
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2019
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So I was rolling coins from my tip money and placing the rolled up sleeves on each other forming a kind of pyramid shape:

My sister walks up to me and asks: β€œAre you creating a pyramid scheme?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ColinHenrichon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2020
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Quarantine Tip #19: Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent.

Then it Dawned on me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2020
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Quarantine Tip #2:

Diarrhea is an early symptom of Coronavirus infection.

So try to loaf as long as you can.

That's a solid tip.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2020
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Here's a tip:

5$

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AndiChR
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2020
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Tip of the day: The toilets at Lowes are just for display.

(they should put signs on those, or something..)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MagicGuy66
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2019
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Just the tip
πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Deathlysin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2019
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Felt tip maka
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DVa4evermaka4ever
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2019
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I spent all day trying to balance a screw on it's tip.

All I ended up doing by the end was just screwing around.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ethanol314
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2020
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Now that's a tip
πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2019
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Tip of my tongue

Guys, help me out here. I can't remember the name of this old action movie. Bilbo Baggins has to stop a terrorist plot and save his wife in the Nakatomi Towers. Oh, that's it.

Old Hobbits Die Hard.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bigchefpeter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2020
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Tips to make running on a treadmill more bearable

Step 1: Add a bear

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/runs_with_airplanes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2019
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A financial tip: Don’t invest in skiing companies.

The entire sport is going downhill fast.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 428
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2018
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If you’re looking for a tip: Wait for it...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lilsguy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2019
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Whenever I go out to eat I always tip my server.

I've also learned that servers have horrible balance.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 60
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2019
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