When a clogged drain killed his family, a clog far past the u-bend & far beyond justice, he knew had to take matters into his own filthy hands. He had to become...
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︎ Dec 11 2020
I was left a package this morning. On the front in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND"
I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Mercedes bends
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︎ Oct 23 2020
At dinner tonight my mother in law asked why my sons knife had a bend in it
I told her itβs so he can cut corners
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︎ Jun 24 2020
What do you call a con artist that can air bend?
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︎ Apr 15 2020
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog, bends down as if to pet it, then picks it up by the tail and begins spinning it over his head. It created quite the ruckus, so an employee ran over and asked the man if he needed help.
"No thanks, just looking around."
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︎ Apr 16 2020
Yoga bends. Yoga stretches. Yoga realizes heβs completely out of shape.
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︎ Jan 15 2020
I would bend over backwards
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︎ Jan 21 2020
How are Rice Krispies able to bend so well without breaking?
Because theyβre marsh-malleable.
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︎ Nov 06 2019
People donβt like having to bend over to get their drinks
We really need to raise the bar.
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︎ Apr 20 2019
What happens when the sunrise bends over?
You see the crack of dawn.
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︎ Aug 12 2019
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
(Sorry) (not sorry)
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︎ Oct 07 2019
My friend always bends down when he's grocery shopping.
He suffers from low shelf esteem.
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︎ Dec 21 2018
If Elbows Didn't Bend...
They would have no point.
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︎ May 15 2018
I forgot that my U-bend was blocked when I went to the toilet this morning.
But I remembered when all came flooding back to me.
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︎ Oct 17 2018
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it canβt bend its legs.
The vet said itβs a cute kid knee disorder.
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︎ Oct 23 2018
I've been having some separation anxiety recently, and my Jamaican psychiatrist recommended that I bend an old pen around my finger as an exercise in self-assurance
Worked like a charm, I really feel like I am in de pen dent
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︎ Oct 22 2018
There's an envelope on my doorstep that says "do not bend"
I still haven't worked out how to pick it up.
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︎ Apr 13 2017
My friend said he could bend his big toe.
I told him to do it.
He had his shoes on so he said:"I don't want to shoe off"
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︎ Oct 19 2017
I'd bend over backwards to play limbo.
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︎ Dec 23 2013
What is yellow, a little bend and not a banana?
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︎ Mar 21 2016
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︎ May 20 2015
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
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︎ Jun 29 2019
What do you get when the sunrise bends over
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︎ Jul 26 2019
People donβt like having to bend over to get their drinks.
We really need to raise the bar.
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︎ Jul 12 2019
People don't like having to bend over to get their drinks
We really need to raise the bar
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︎ Dec 17 2018
People donβt like having to bend over to get their drinks.
We really need to raise the bar.
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︎ Apr 05 2019
People donβt like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar
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︎ Dec 16 2018
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