When a clogged drain killed his family, a clog far past the u-bend & far beyond justice, he knew had to take matters into his own filthy hands. He had to become...
I was left a package this morning. On the front in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND"
I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?
At dinner tonight my mother in law asked why my sons knife had a bend in it
I told her it’s so he can cut corners
What do you call a con artist that can air bend?
An air con
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog, bends down as if to pet it, then picks it up by the tail and begins spinning it over his head. It created quite the ruckus, so an employee ran over and asked the man if he needed help.
"No thanks, just looking around."
Yoga bends. Yoga stretches. Yoga realizes he’s completely out of shape.
Yoga pants.
How are Rice Krispies able to bend so well without breaking?
Because they’re marsh-malleable.
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks
We really need to raise the bar.
What happens when the sunrise bends over?
You see the crack of dawn.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
(Sorry) (not sorry)
My friend always bends down when he's grocery shopping.
He suffers from low shelf esteem.
If Elbows Didn't Bend...
They would have no point.
I forgot that my U-bend was blocked when I went to the toilet this morning.
But I remembered when all came flooding back to me.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
I've been having some separation anxiety recently, and my Jamaican psychiatrist recommended that I bend an old pen around my finger as an exercise in self-assurance
Worked like a charm, I really feel like I am in de pen dent
There's an envelope on my doorstep that says "do not bend"
I still haven't worked out how to pick it up.
My friend said he could bend his big toe.
I told him to do it.
He had his shoes on so he said:"I don't want to shoe off"
What is yellow, a little bend and not a banana?
Nevertheless a banana!
I wanted to see how a Mercedes bends. imgur.com/zJ17Fiv
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
What do you get when the sunrise bends over
The crack of dawn
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.
We really need to raise the bar.
People don't like having to bend over to get their drinks
We really need to raise the bar
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.
We really need to raise the bar.
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar
