Have you ever wondered why the winner of all the Miss Universe contest...
...always came from Earth ?
I entered my Chihuahua in an 'ugliest dog' contest and I won first place!
I entered a pooping contest once
I struggled hard in the bodybuilding contest.
Turns out, I've got atrophy
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says
My cat got 10/10 points at a beauty contest
I've just entered the neighborhoods tightest hat contest..
I was all ready to host a limbo contest, but then I found out that someone stole my special limbo bar.
I mean, how low can you go?
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre
One of the local radio stations had a "Worst Pun" contest.
The best part was you could submit multiple entries, and I sent in a bunch, at least 10. I figured the more I came up with, one of them had to win.
But, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
I entered ten puns into a contest.
I hoped one would win, but no pun in ten did.
“Judge, I want to contest 50% of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus!”
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Ok. I want to contest half of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus.
My friend from Paris took part in a national barista contest
And he won! I read it in the French press
Winning a German sausage eating contest is all about your mind set
You hope for the best, but prepare for the wurst
A male dog and a female dog are having a pissing contest, which one will win?
Obviously the male dog because he has the-leg-up.
Did you hear about all the competition in the outdoor pickled cabbage contest?
If he won't talk I guess it's just a stairing contest
Two artists had an art contest. How did it end?
I entered a pun contest once
You had to send in your best puns, via snail mail, in an orderly list. I sent ten in, thinking at least one would win me a prize, but no pun in ten did.
I came second in a dumpling eating contest...
...you dim sum, you lose some.
I was winning in a staring contest once...
and it was all taken away in the blink of an eye.
Did you hear that the guy who got second place in that smoke machine design contest forgot how his prototype worked?
When they asked him about it, he said he didn’t have the foggiest idea.
How did the neckwear contest end?
I won a contest for draining the most water out of a towel...
I'm now known as the Lord of the Wrings.
Which body part never wins any contests?
Best Golf Pun contest has started
Our Golf Pun contest is starting tonight at 5PM EST. It's free to enter. Winner gets $150 Amazon eGift Card .........
Please invite all the punsters you'd like .......... https://golfpuns.com/index.php
What was the prize the baker won for winning the bread contest?
What do you win in a contest for doing absolutely nothing?
A buddy and I had a butter eating contest.
I won by a 3-stick margarine.
Girlfriend challenged me to an Asian Cuisine eating contest
Biggest Number Contest
20 Was in the lead "24 the win!" The crowd shouted.
Sadly 30 challenged him and 31.
But they realized it was a tie! Because 0, 1, 2!
And they all 8 together, The end.
Someone got caught cheating at my church’s limbo contest.
We found out how low they could go.
I'm really nervous about this bug-eating contest
I've got butterflies in my stomach.
Why did Olaf lose the schnitzel-eating contest?
Because Olaf ate six, Sven ate nine.
In a radio contest for a new fence. Need a clever caption. Help me out??
I submitted a statue of myself shaped like a butt to an art contest.
I didn’t win but the judges said I made a real ass of myself.
My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says
I entered 10 puns in a contest hoping one would win.
A man entered a pun contest and said ten pins, hoping one would win...
Unfortunately no pun intended
“Judge, I want to contest 60% of my parking tickets!”
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Fine. I want to contest 3/5 of my parking tickets!
I submitted ten puns to a punning contest, thinking at least one might win.
“Judge, I want to contest 50% of my parking tickets.”
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Sure. I want to contest half of my parking tickets!
I submitted ten puns to a pun contest hoping that one would win,
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