They rescheduled the quarterly pogo stick competition.

They had to wait for the he spring.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
i used to fan or archery thought. then, i had a big accident while on a competition.

i took an arrow in the knee.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Jude
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
When it comes to decorating the Christmas tree, I've got a leg up on the competition. My cat says I passed out under the tree again, but I told her to stop pulling my leg.
πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stalnoypirat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens if a cat wins a dog competition during a tornado?

A cathastrophy

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D4rk3rl1fe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t Satan’s cheerleading squad win any competitions?

Because they have literally no chants in Hell.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How do figure skaters prepare for competitions

Pract-ice

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CriticalBiscuits
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The guy who lost the fishing competition was really upset.

He was totally out of line.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/letsgetrandy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The toucan once faced fierce competition in it's ecological niche.

Eventually, though, it came to dominate the toucannot.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iep6ooPh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I was in a cat competition that wasn't like your typical competition. They had a category for cat butts, which I ended up winning...

But it was just a cat-ass-trophy

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you a call a competition for computers?

A ChampionChip

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/charmandernews
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I submitted nearly a dozen entries to a dad joke competition, hoping one would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BubzTheDeranged
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Overheard at an international chemistry competition

Said by a British chemist: "I'll kick your arsenic!"

Said by an American chemist: "I'll kick your astatine!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The result of an art competition...

Is a draw.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/matthewrmshin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I just won a teddy bear making competition with my kids.

Great stuff!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the punctuation competition?

The winner got an apostrophe.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the bagel shop owner get rid of the competition on his block?

He ran a pretty intense schmear campaign

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
In a Student v.s. Teacher competition

who schools who?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TNormus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about all the competition in the outdoor pickled cabbage contest?

It was a krauted field.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/citrusguy9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I just came second in my city's big bubble blowing competition

I came so close to winning but I blew it

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NateTheSimpleOne
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
In a village, far far away, two farmers often had a competition within themselves to see who harvests the most every 6 months.

After failing to win for about 9 times in a row, Jaime, hired a spy who will go and check Jack's harvest the night before the contest so he can harvest more. As the spy came back the night before, he informed the farmer Jaime about the amount that he saw inside Jack's yard but he was not able to tell the amount in exact. Jaime took the spy to his paddy field, gave him some extra money than what they initially agreed upon and said...

"You reap what you saw".

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MShafiSatthar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A farmer won a competition. When he was told he won, he was so surprised.

They say he was outstanding in his own field.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChungaChunga06
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I refuse to vote for anyone in the dried fruit competition.

There aren't any good candied-dates.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ApologeticKid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the Highest Level of Competition That a Semi Professional Sauerkraut Pickler Aspires To?

The Briner Leagues.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/du_bekar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My son seemed really upset that he came in last at the Karate competition.

He was kicking himself.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got a pedigree toothless Norwegian Blue Parrot I want to enter in competitions

I hope it sucks seeds

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamsternoir
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I reattached a cup holder to my son's car seat the other day. My daughter (5yo) taunted him, saying, "I have TWO cup holders!" I told her, "It's not a competition," to which she replied...

"But it is a CUP-etition!"

... I've never been so proud of her.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshSamBob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Who would win a racing competition among all the computer devices?

USB Flash Drive

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/archit14
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting the 2020 Origami competition?

I heard it's pay per view...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/k-810
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a goodlooking winner of a large suntanning competition?

Tan out of tan

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Recently went to a steak eating competition.

There was a lot of beef between the competitors.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkck0517
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
No one expected me to win the cereal eating competition

...but I've got some Trix up my sleeve

Inspired by a recent post here

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FabuPineapple
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you say in a sitting competition?

Last man standing wins.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stink-on-Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I won biggest shoe competition

It was a really big feat

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Red-Mario
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the dolphin win the pinball competition?

He had good flipper action

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I lost the tug of war competition

All held broke loose

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow competition worth 1,000,000 dollars?

The higher up you can get your cow the higher the score you get.

The steaks are rising.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MightBeATaco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A man enters into a baking competition

And realizes that his cake batter was not turning out right. After a moment of panic, he had a sudden realization and placed the whole mixing bowl, whisk and all, into the oven. After 20 minutes he took the whole thing out and served it to the judges. Understandably, he got last place. When he met up with his family afterwards, his wife asked, β€œwhat were you thinking?” The man replied, β€œI don’t know, but it was a whisk I was willing to bake.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EdibleBatteries
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Man, wait till you hear what my finishing move was at the Battleship competition!

I One

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xevetv
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I won a thumb at a lisp competition, but lost it soon after.

You win thumb, you lose thumb.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ollieacappella
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Frankenstein enters a body building competition and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leianarodriguez
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I entered a pun competition with 10 puns of mine:

I hoped at least one of them will win, but no pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Superman and I had an arm wrestling competition

The loser had to wear their underwear over their pants.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tahmid5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Ty came first in a swimming competition in Beijing, but he wasn’t given a gold medal.

The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.

πŸ‘︎ 212
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the chef lose the cooking competition?

He ran out of thyme

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Onsyde
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
If there were a competition for hiccups, it would probably be called The Hic-Cup.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ParadoxNinja
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I came second in a Winston Churchill lookalike competition

Close, but no cigar

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.