At the Finnish line
The cabbage was ahead, the nose was running, and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Because my knees can take 5K’s any more
It ended in a tie.
Nothing, they fast
He was a cheetah
And I’m laughing my Ossoff
“One Two Three” because “Un Deux Trois” cat sank.
They ended up in a tie!
It’s never been beaten.
I was quicker to the draw.
NASCAR
Where do we draw the line?
Gnomes.
There's no race like gnome.
In it took part the Minus sign, and the numbers zero and -2. All three ended the race at precisely the same time.
-2, Minus Won; 0 Won Too.
(Reddit, I am counting on you to make this stupid joke popular!)
There was a race horse named Pat, who was one of the greatest race horses to ever live. He set records that were near impossible to beat. After a long time of racing, he retired to an old stable with some old friends. They were very happy that he retired there to stay with him, and congratulated him on all of his records that he set.
Once Pat retired, he started keeping track of all the up and coming horses that were winning a lot. There was a race horse named Charlie that was doing really great and winning all his races. Pat saw this horse and watched him race. Charlie started to break all of Pat’s records and Pat was a little upset with this.
After a while, Charlie decided to retire after an extremely successful career in racing. By chance, Charlie decided to retire at the same stable that Pat retired in. When Charlie entered the stable, everyone went up to him to congratulate him on his records and wins. Pat went up to Charlie and said, “Hey Charlie congratulations on all of your wins! You broke a lot of my records and I was very impressed.” Charlie responds, “go away old man, I’m better than you ever were.” Pat was blown away by his response. He galloped away from Charlie with defeat.
After a while of thinking, Pat decides to challenge Charlie to a race. Charlie agreed to it and wanted to race right away. He said “We will race to the tree over there and turn around and come back and whoever gets there first will be the winner.” Pat was still healthy but he needed a few weeks to get his legs back into shape for the race. Charlie gives Pat 2 weeks to get ready.
After 2 weeks pass, they are ready to race. “Hey Pat, before we race I want to warn you that I win my races by passing them by the end. So don’t get all cocky and think you are going to win.” Charlie says. Pat thanks him for the warning and they start getting set to race.
The gun sounds and they are off to race. Pat starts out in front, and nears the finish. Out of know where, Charlie zooms ahead of Pat and wins the race.
Pat was very disappointed in his loss, but congratulated Charlie anyways. A dog comes up to them and says, “Wow, that was a fantastic race! Neither of you should be upset with that. You both were so great!” Charlie looks to Pat and Pat looks to Charlie. They are astonished. Charlie says, “Say that again! Say it again!” The dog says a little confused, “Well I just said that you both were so great out there.” Pat says, “Charlie! It’s a talking dog!”
I thought I was the fastest, turns out I’m second to nun
So I enrolled both my kids in the hurdles and 100m sprint.
It was level pegging.
I still can't believe the guy in high heels won.
The Fat And The Furious
He Finnished first.
I'm an e-racer.
His car pushed the envelope.
In her mother's womb.
Mph.
He knew a short cut
Because Une-Deux-Troi quatre cinq.
Because it was wiped out
Tu-Tu won one too.
Nothing, they fast!
Nothing, they fast.
Nothing, they fast!
Nothing. They fast.
Nothing. They fast!
Nothing, they fast!
Nothing, they fast.
Nothing, they fast!
Nothing, they fast
"One Two Three" did cos "Un Deux Trois" cat sank.
Nothing, they fast!
Nothing. They fast.
Nothing, they fast.
