I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside
π︎ 150
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
The vet said our chick has survived through the accident, but his brain was damaged so heβd have to live the rest of his life a vegetable.
Guess weβll call him Eggplant now
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars.'
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
What do you call a chickpea that's not into chicks?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 13 2020
This girl asked me if I more into a chick's breasts or thighs
I told her that's none of her business and I just want some KFC
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 29 2020
I was trying to pick up this chick and she just ran away and kept saying: "peep, peep!"
I think it was a she. Fast little bugger.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 22 2020
Egg or chick
π︎ 19
π
︎ May 03 2020
Some chick named Susan threw herself at me.
Four days later and I still canβt believe I got sued.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 11 2020
What do french chicks smoke?
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 17 2020
Raising chickens at home, just asked my Dad "how do I tell if a baby chick is male or female?"
Dad: "look for the pecker"
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 30 2020
I started talking to this chick that's a Pilot.
The only problem is I'm not into plane girls
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 14 2020
Chick-fil-A is the only safe restaurant right now
They wash their hands religiously
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
What do you call a chick that acts like a dude?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 05 2020
Whereβs the best place to pick up chicks?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 28 2020
Chick- Fil-Leia
π︎ 61
π
︎ Apr 10 2019
What's the difference between a lentile and a chick pea?
I've never had a lentile on my chest before.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 16 2019
Hey guys if you need to determine how Basic a chick is.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 20 2019
Chick
π︎ 581
π
︎ Nov 13 2018
I live in genuine terror of boiling an egg and cracking it open to find a dead, boiled chick inside
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 17 2019
Know how I know Chicks dig dad jokes?
Otherwise they'd be called single guy jokes
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 25 2019
I fucked a fat chick in an elevator
It was wrong on so many levels
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 16 2019
I work at a Chick Fil A, and a customer came in with a Burger King bag, sat down, and started eating.
A pretty tasteless joke if you ask me.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 27 2019
Hot chick π
π︎ 37
π
︎ Apr 29 2019
What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Aug 18 2019
Just a guy at the airport trying to pick up chicks
π︎ 807
π
︎ Mar 24 2017
"How expensive are baby chicks?"
"I don't know, I think pretty cheep"
π︎ 34
π
︎ Jun 08 2019
Talking to my GF " so I got this from a chick at work today" (hand her a piece of paper) daughter freaks out in the background, "a chick?!? I wanna see I wanna see can I hold it?" Lmao
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 22 2019
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 16 2019
Chick fil-a never lets me down
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 07 2019
Here is an easy three step program to pick up petite, blonde chicks.
Step 1. Go to a farm.
Step 2. Go to the chicken coop.
Step 3. Find a baby chicken and pick it up.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 17 2019
Why is a bird so good at helping itβs friends pick up chicks?
He is the ultimate wingman.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 19 2019
I went to a club with friends. There was a huge nordic/viking looking ass bouncer He let us through looking intimidating as fuck but whatever. Dancing and drinking. This chick grinding on me. Getting flirty and introduce herself. Her name is Sky. Drag me to the toilet hinting she wants the D.
Sucks dick like a pro. Doesn't let me cum and wants me to eat her ass.
Suddenly huge bouncer from before barges in and shoves me away with an unrelenting force. Proceed eats out Sky's ass like a boss
Yells "Sky's rim belongs to the nords"
(sorry for long post but friend sent this to me and i have no idea where it goes, could use some help)
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 31 2019
I love buff chicks
What do you call a bison that refuses a challenge...?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Buffalo chicken.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 01 2018
In college, I was known to be a chick magnet.
Unfortunately I couldnβt figure out how to reverse the polarity.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 05 2019
Chick-fil-a was really slow getting my order out to me.
They mustβve been off their Chick-fil- βA-gameβ
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 14 2019
Came here to meat chicks
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 06 2018
What did the mother hen say to her chicks when they hatched?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 16 2019
π︎ 219
π
︎ Feb 23 2016
Most Sundays I declare, "I'm taking a stand, we are eating Chick-fil-a today or nothing at all!"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 13 2017
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 18 2018
If you fuck a hot older chick you fuck a cougar but if she's married she's a cheetah
π︎ 71
π
︎ Jan 07 2017
Whatβs the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?
I would never pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 16 2019
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