I saw a drunk dude riding in a boat on the chests of four women with average bust size, one of whom had a single mastectomy.

He was sailing on the seven C’s

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/serialcompliment
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Swedish car company that went bust in 2012?

It’s your typical Saab story.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thrasher555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Last week I ordered a bust of me because I thought I deserved it.

It turns out I just got ahead of myself.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leogfilho
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you all hear about the drug bust at the bug spray factory?

Police said it was the greatest Raid ever!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kremitthegorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
If I ever have the money, I'm going to commission a bust.

But I'm getting a head of myself.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reyzorblade
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
It's written so formally and then they bust this out.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Addyiscute
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a door respond if you bust it down?

It becomes unhinged

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend wants to get a bust of herself carved...

I said, "wait. Don't get a head of yourself."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A cop busts into a strip club to arrest a guy and yells...

Freeze, you're under abreast!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crowby3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I always make busts of my rivals

That way I keep ahead of them.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boiler_Dwarf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My mate's had a bust of his likeness made,

I told him he shouldn't get a head of himself.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asussed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
About time of the year to bust out the missile toe.
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mk4rim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Bust out the 808 (mg sodium per serving?)
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/captaininvengo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My first attempt at sculpting was a bust.

Thought I'd plaster it all over the Internet.

πŸ‘︎ 310
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thereisonlyoneme
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2017
🚨︎ report
I should stop before ordering a custom bust

I don’t want to get ahead of myself

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ingrahamlincoln
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Trying to get ready but everything in your closet is a bust
πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dinonuggetsFTW
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
🚨︎ report
I saw a bust of Cassius Clay made out of trash

Litter Ali

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What did they say when the first metal-cast bust was made?

Wow, that artist is really forging a head

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poisonhyvee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the duck police do when they performed a huge cocaine bust?

They quacked down on drug crime

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChazyLamy
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
🚨︎ report
The spam filter on my emails is bust...

...it's letting all sorts of cooked meats through.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drondol
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
🚨︎ report
You know, you see all these famous people who paid good money to have a bust made in their likeness..

Some might say they're getting a head of themselves.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HIGHxCLASSxHOBO
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What does Al Gore bust out on the dance floor?

Algorithms

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2017
🚨︎ report
One time I prematurely ordered a bust of me.

I got a head of myself.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/helplessharry1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
A Drugs Bust
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CamelSandwich
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad didn't hesitate to bust out this one

My father is having ankle problems lately and he was trying to describe to me where it hurts and how it felt.

Dad: It feels really sore around my ankle and comes down to my Achilles. It only hurts off and on though.

Me: Well have you tried an ice pack? Maybe you need to wrap it.

Dad: Yo Yo Yo! My ankle is killing me. Word out, son!

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TentacleMage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2014
🚨︎ report
Turns ot the busts on the haunted mansion ride at Disneyland don't actually look at you. They're just carved into the wall.

So that's a releif.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FremanKynes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad likes to bust this one out every Christmas.

...Usually when we're decorating the tree or house.

ME: "Will you hand me that strand of colored lights?"

DAD: "Son, we don't call them that any more."

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/john_rage
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2014
🚨︎ report
So the AFP made a drug bust today.. crosspost from /r/australia reddit.com/r/australia/co…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObeyTheCowGod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2014
🚨︎ report
At Yellowstone and my Dad busts this out

(While we are watching Old Faithful)

Dad: Did you know each eruption of Old Faithful gets a name?

Me: Like hurricanes? No I didn't

Dad: Yeah, except they all have German names. I think it's because Old Faithful was discovered by Germans.

Me: That's really interesting. What's this one called?

Dad: Geyser Wilhelm.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Friendo_Supreme
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2015
🚨︎ report
I realized my dad doesn't even need to be a part of the conversation to bust them out.

I'm going to Somalia on a missions trip, and I was talking to a friend about it.

Me: Somalia is in Africa. It'll be a short trip, but it'll be interesting

Friend: Why would you want to go to Somalia?

Dad: Better Somalia than nomalia.

I still feel like groaning.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/premedic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
🚨︎ report
Talking about my wisdom teeth removal, dad busts this out

"A know it all patient is trying to tell the surgeon how to do everything. The surgeon throws up his hands and says 'Suture yourself!'"

(Suit yourself)

Cue eye rolling from me and my mom...

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlh4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Our project was a bust

We got ahead of ourselves.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GirlsUsedToDissMe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
🚨︎ report

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