Broke ny finger today
On the other hand i am ok
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.
He told me to quit going to those places.
My Russian girlfriend broke up with me
She said "I'm Finnish with you!"
A horse broke into my room while I was asleep.
Son: “What crime would I be charged with if I broke into the Capitol and planted a forest?”
Dad: “Well I’m no legal expert, but I suspect there’d be some trees in there.”
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.
I recently broke up with my caterpillar girlfriend.
I once dated two girls called Edith and Kate. Kate found out and told Edith that I was dating both of them at the same time. They both broke up with me on the very same day!
Moral of the story is you can’t have your Kate and Edith too
Someone broke into my house last night and stole my limbo trophy
My daughter broke her finger today,
but on the other hand she was completely fine.
If a short psychic broke out of jail...
You'd have a small medium at large
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
What do you call a broke Cat in a broke dolphin?
Sad news. I broke up with my girlfriend Loraine
She found out I was seeing another girl, Claire Lee. Good news though, I can see Claire Lee now, Loraine is gone
ripped off
Every machine in the coin factory broke down all of a sudden without explanation.
It just doesn’t make any cents.
I broke up with my boyfriend because I realised he’s a communist
Now that I look back, there were a lot of red flags
My girlfriend broke up with me when she found out I only have 9 toes
She was lack toes intolerant
Why was the girl cross with the guy after he broke up with her?
Last night a thief broke into the shoe factory.
He was the sole perpetrator.
What did the sniper say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
My belt broke, so I used my watch strap to fix it.
They fell down anyway. What a waist of time.
Broke up with my girlfriend after telling her I loved her.
She told me she loves U2, I just can't be with someone with a bad taste in music.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
I have a co-worker who claimed for years that he hates Christmas. He finally broke down and told me he secretly loves it, he just has a reputation to maintain.
He finally came out of the Santa Claus-et.
I broke my finger last week.
On the other hand I'm ok.
A man broke his leg in three places. He went to his doctor for advice.
“Stop going to those places!”
Just happened: my contractor broke a window during our nearly complete renovation
He turned to me and said it's no problem. At this stage it's just a pane.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he broke down into tears.
He turned towards me and said, "One would've been enough, son."
Broke a leg , it hurts so much
Had to take my friend to the hospital
I threw some pills and accidentally broke one of my windows.
I didn’t realize they were pane killers.
My wheelchair bound girlfriend broke up with me.
I think it was because she couldn’t stand me.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend
but he kept asking her for another shot.
My girlfriend broke up with me so i stole her wheelchair
Guess who came crawling back
Where did the pear go when it was broke
To the re-pear shop.
Credit goes to my friend who is a dad, and thought this was original.
two exes were tied together by a string but it broke
guess there was too much tension between them
I broke my finger yesterday...
Blue foam everywhere, definitely not worth the money!
A thief broke into a guy's house, stole his stuff, killed the man, and turned him into a large cup…
I just broke my finger...
But on the other hand, I’m okay.
One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has broke his back.
We didn’t have Oleg to stand on.
My son's pet frog broke his leg yesterday
A midget psychic broke out of jail.
It’s a small medium at large situation.
My girlfriend broke up with me after she discovered I only have 9 toes
She was lack toes intolerant
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but...
.
.
.
He kept asking for another shot.
Someone broke into my garage last night and stole my limbo stick!
How could they go so low?
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