Breast puns?

Just doin' a little research for an upcoming speech. Show me your breast puns. ;)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kittymistress
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2016
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saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...

wooden tit?

πŸ‘︎ 193
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaaaasowenyaaa
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts snugly in a tight hole and works best when pulled.

A Seatbelt.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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What do you call similar looking breasts ?

Identitties.

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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What kind of bees like breast milk?

Babies

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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Which animal has the biggest breasts

A zebra

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeke_Smith
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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Breast reduction surgery.

A massive weight off her shoulders.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirty-Slippers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mza299
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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I once met a woman who had 12 breasts. Sounds weird..

..Dozen tit?

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLMR56
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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My wife said she should get an award for breast feeding the baby.

I said I’d nominate her for the SAG awards.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RootbeerDreams
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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My friend told me he once met a lady with twelve breasts. "Sounds strange," I had to tell him....

Dozentit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jumbojimbojamo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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Dad: I saw a woman with 12 breasts

Me: That sounds strange...

Dad: Dozen tit

YOU’RE WELCOME πŸ’‹

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Brought my friend some chicken, told him I had 1 leg, 3 breasts and a wing.

He asked β€œSo how do you find clothes that fit?”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SacredSyrian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What do breast pumps and I statements have in common?

They help you express yourself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grandviewsurfer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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My friend just bought breast implants made of Oak.

It seems like that would be uncomfortable, wooden tit?

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Minnaloushe_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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While paying for groceries at a local store ,they had reusable shopping bags with the breast cancer awareness ribbon on them with a handwritten sign that said $.99 for a better tomorrow.

I asked the young girl at the register "If I buy this and don't have a better tomorrow can I return it for a refund?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jHugley328
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I’ve decided to switch jobs from gardener to breast enlargements surgeon.

It was easy, both are basically implants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/exturo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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On the news: β€œnearly 29,000 women have their breast implants removed every year”

Me, to my wife: β€œthat’s stupid. I would think most women only need to have them removed once!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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I was asked why I like big breasts.

I always believed that it's the mammary that counts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollo1366
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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My wife screens patients for breast cancer

What a great boob job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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What do you call a dinosaur's breasts?

>!Tyrannosaurs Pecs!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jack_Hoffa
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Science has found that honeybee venom helps kill aggressive breast cancer cells.

They've updated their name reflecting their new job to Boobees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rahulabon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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My wife's favorite topic is breasts.

She's always pointing them out to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brokenbryan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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I had breast cancer once...

Those were some bad mammaries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesockster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Shouldn’t breast implants . . .

Be made of mammary foam?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomoz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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How much was Texas Instruments fined when they were caught offering free breast augmentation procedures to employees?

$5,318,008

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IMightNotBeKevin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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What is a tea made using breast milk called?

TTT

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hang-me-im-guilty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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My wife was complaining about how I overcooked the last chicken breast we had

Tough titties.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_1337_Canadian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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If a woman with big breasts works at Hooters, where does someone with one leg work?

IHOP

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hazelnutbag
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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Our baby hasn't been eating from my wife's left breast.

I told her it doesn't taste quite right.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwimmingFish
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Some pirate's prosthetic breast would be nice...

...Wooden tit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roystefano
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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Did you know that the queen of England has the largest breasts of the world?

She has teacups

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grobtheweirdo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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I was watching a documentary about a girl who got breast implants made of wood

I thought to myself, that'd hurt, wooden tit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Edolas93
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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I met a girl with 12 breasts

Sounds strange, Dozen tit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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I once met a girl with 12 breasts. It sounds strange...

Dozen tit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devdevo1919
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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Me: I me this girl with a dozen breasts My friend: that sounds strange...

Me: dozen tit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordofthstrings
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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Me : I met a woman with 12 breasts !!

My wife : That sounds strange.

Me : Dozen tit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gp_11
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Did you hear about the woman with twelve breasts?

Sounds weird, dozen tit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShayD7118
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tpark474
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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What is the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlatypusPajamas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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What's The Difference Between A Dirty Bus Stop And A Lobster With Breast Implants?

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nazykitten
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What's The Difference Between A Dirty Bus Stop And A Lobster With Breast Implants?

One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nazykitten
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Whats the difference between an old bus stop, and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus-station, the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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What's the difference between a Dirty Bus Stop and a Lobster with breast implants?

One is a busty crustacean, the other is a crusty bus station

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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What do you get when you make tea with some breast milk?

TTT

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hang-me-im-guilty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I just saw a woman with twelve breasts. Hehehe, sounds funny,

Dozen tit?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doktorstrange7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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What’s the difference between a nasty bus stop and a lobster with breasts?

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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What's the difference between a filthy Greyhound terminal and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, and one is a busty crustacean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rfdyl12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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