Prostate Puns

The doctor is checking him out when he finds a roll of $100 bills stuffed up his ass. He pulls out the money and counts it.

“You’re not gonna believe this, but I just found $1900 shoved up your ass!”

The man says, “Well that makes sense. That’s why I haven’t been feeling too grand.”

There's a vas deferens.

After about half an hour the doctor says..."You won't believe this, but i just pulled $1999 out of your bottom"

The man turns around and says "Yeah, I wasn't feeling 2 grand"

But now the proctologist told me everything's been rectified.

You know urine trouble.

No, there’s a vas deferens between them.

Urine trouble

*Apologies for the early '?'

I'm never going back to that dentist again!

I said... “Wow, that’s a meaty urologist!” 😎🤓

I was surprised that everyone was wearing patriotic gear there instead.

But he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

They're both stick-ups.

My doctor has a lot of explaining to do.

They have completely different functionality.

....but there's a vas deferens between them.

Testiemonial

NSFW. Trigger warning. Some may find it in poor taste.

http://i.imgur.com/JxZNlQR.png

I’m doing these prostate exams my way.

Because in every man there is a little part of themself that is prostate.

The prostate

prostate

... I got a really swell prostate

the response was: "So your prostate is good?"

Background:

Eating dinner at a friends house with about 8 people. I have no idea how, but we started talking about prostate exams, and how men would rather have slimmer fingers than bigger ones perform the exam.

Me: Yea, I would rather have someone with smaller hands do the exam, but I would prefer a male doctor than a female.

Friend 1: Do you think there are any homosexual male proctologists?

Friend 2: I'm sure some have slipped through the cracks.

A little back story. My father just recovered from prostate cancer and is doing much better after they removed it BUT he still has some urinary issues. Well he walks into my room... "Hey buddy, guess what" says Dad "What?" I reply with a heavy sigh "I don't know, it depends." As dad pulls some brand new depends diapers from behind his back.

And she was saying that a lot of medical experts don't recommend digital vagina exams anymore. So I asked if they're saying the same thing with prostate exams too. When she said "no," I responded with "So they're still rectum-ending it?"

He said the cryoablation on his prostate was a success!

"Yeah, so I had a biopsy of my prostate last week. It was a real pain in the ass."