Somebody wrote a quote at the bottom of the pool.
A man goes to the doctor, and says "doctor, I havent been peeing correctly and its painful". The doctor replies "I will have to perform a prostate exam." As the doctor examines the man, he pulls out an $100 bill out of his bottom. This continues, he keeps pulling out money from this man's bottom.
After about half an hour the doctor says..."You won't believe this, but i just pulled $1999 out of your bottom"
The man turns around and says "Yeah, I wasn't feeling 2 grand"
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
What has a bottom at the top?
I purchased a deodorant stick today. Instructions say, "remove cap and push up bottom."
I can hardly walk, but when I fart the room smells lovely. Credit: https://pun.me/pages/dad-jokes.php
How does Harry Potter like to get to the bottom of a hill? Walking
Does spanking Dwayne Johnson count as hitting 'the Rock' bottom?
Here's how you know you've really hit rock bottom.
When you slap a marble statue on the butt
What do you call a boat at the bottom of the ocean that shivers?
Icarus had a lesser known brother. He wanted to swim to the bottom of the ocean.
Instead of wax, he used paraffin.
I recently met with my therapist at the bottom of the ocean.
I just saw a ship builder hit a guy with a structure that runs along the center of a ship's bottom...
He keeled the other fellow just like that!
I finally found it .. Rock Bottom
Apple bottom jeans boots with the purr
This is (practically) the corniest gift imaginable. At the bottom of the soon to be gift wrapped box of corniness was a pair of Korn tickets for my lady...who enjoys my corny puns.
There's many ways "werewolf" can be interpreted.
My three year old girl asked me, "Where does poo come from?" I was a little uncomfortable but decided to give her an honest explanation, so I explained, "You just ate breakfast, yes?"
"Yes." she replied.
"Well, the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, then whatever is left over, comes out of our bottoms when we go to the toilet! And that, is poo!"
She looked a little perplexed, stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"
If you are ever working on being more decisive and find yourself wanting to get a tuba, a trombone, and a round-bottomed dish - but you can only afford two of them and the dish will fit under your shirt - just remember:
Take the bowl, buy the horns .
I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...
With friends like that, who needs anemones?
How do you discipline your pet rock?
You hit rock bottom!
Sorry....🙄
How did that guy end up at the bottom of the well in prison?
In a new movie 007 must save us from a mad man intent on setting off an atomic bomb on the bottom of the Ocean
I bought a new deodorant yesterday. The instructions said "Remove cap and push up bottom"
It hurt like hell, but my farts smell great.
What did the staircase tell the man at the bottom?
I am many steps ahead of you.
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
[Meta] love for you jokester dads
The only think I miss about my (otherwise awful) father is his sense of humor. Thank you from the bottom of my heart (and the top of my face palms) for every groaner, pun, and repeat.
Love,
All us fatherless (for whatever reason) redditors
Do you think anyone has ever slapped Dwayne Johnson on the butt and then proclaimed, "well I've hit rock bottom"
Edit: get consent people
"Mr. Rock, may I slap your behind for the sake of an amazing pun that the people will remember for years to come"
Me and my wife were arguing about our hamburgers
I said we should put the patty on top, She said to put it on the bottom So are son said we should just meat in the middle.
The lettuce at the bottom of our pan was frozen solid.
Coworker 1: Aw shucks looks like we got the wrong lettuce.
Coworker 2: What do you mean? It's the same lettuce we usually get.
Coworker 1: Nuh uh, this is clearly iceberg lettuce.
Badum tss
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Had my 12 yr old daughter try burping our newborn son
But while she was doing it he passed gas on her instead.
She went “Ew” and passed him back.
I told her she was doing it wrong. Patting his back is about getting air out. If you pat him downward you’re pushing it to his bottom.
I then preceded to watch her pat his back in upward motions for 5 minutes while trying not to laugh.
My friend lost the the bottom of his shoe
Why did the toilet roll go down the hill?
Rock puns
I have a pet rock but he's really hit rock bottom he has also got into rock and roll music and I think rocks but lately he has put on a stone or two so he get karma it would rock his world
Dad got me good before, took a second sadly :s
Me; the moons almost full.
Dad; there's a plug at the bottom, drain it out.
Ffs.
This statement at the bottom of your Just-Eat receipt.
What's white and lives at the bottom of the ocean?
The first joke my 3yo self ever made
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
My dad remembers me being really proud of it and telling everyone, haha!
If the bottom of the sea is the seafloor
Then the surface of the sea is the sealing
A quote for when you’ve hit rock bottom
My computer science book has one at the bottom of every page
I put a padlock on the refrigerator and superglued the key to the bottom of my big toe.
For years I told my daughter she was 1/2 Human & 1/2 Mermaid ... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
I saw people putting notes at the bottom of a telephone pole. I asked them what they were doing and one person said:
"We are putting comments under this post"
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed ?
I just reached rock-bottom
What did they say when the reached the bottom of the Mariana Trench?
“We can only go up from here!”
A hearse is driving up a very steep street
A hearse is driving up a very steep street and once it gets near the top, the back door opens up and the coffin comes shooting out of the hearse and rolls down the street.
People are diving out of the way, cars are swerving, it’s chaos! By the time it reaches the bottom of the hill it has picked up a lot of speed and crashes into a wall surrounded by people.
The door pops open, the body sits up and says “Do you have anything to stop this coughin?”
A man's bottom was frozen solid
You're not supposed to laugh about it, but still
Spent all day rinsing several palates of damaged Coca-Cola cans at the food bank today. The stuff at the bottom was ... gross. At home mom asked what we did.
We sorted sorta sordid sodas.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
If you don’t want to read it all read the bottom
It sure would be one hell of a confusion
it's possible to jump without a parachute from the top of the Grand Canyon all the way to the bottom.
In the near future we will have cyborgs but they won't have bottoms.
Do you know why some people bang on the side of the ketchup bottle while others bang on the bottom of the ketchup bottle?
Me: No. Why?
Him: To get the ketchup out.
Told to me by my grandfather-in-law as I was banging on the side of the ketchup bottle.
A man was admitted to the hospital with six toy horses stuck in his bottom.
His condition was described as stable.
I was shopping for some deodorant this afternoon. I noticed the instructions said “remove cap and twist up bottom”
It hurts to walk now but my farts smell great!
They always say start at the bottom if you want to learn something.
Not the best way to learn to swim?
I don't know why so people are buying so much TP
But I wish someone would get to the bottom of it.
What do you call a doctor that graduates at the bottom of his class?
Do you know why i hate bottom feeders
Because there all shellfish
What has a bottom at its top?
Whats at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches ?
What do you call a twitching boat at the bottom of the ocean?
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
If you discipline your Rock, does that mean you hit rock bottom?
I'm never using stick deodorant again...
The instructions said " remove cap and push up bottom"
I can hardly walk.
I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said to remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk but my farts smell lovely.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
What's at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
What sits on the bottom of the sea and shakes?
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